Deck and Amy and The Future

Deck typed away at his company furnished laptop after hours and listened to his company furnished cell phone vibrate violently with every new email received.  "We should start a business.  Be our own boss."  He suggested. Amy scoffed. "Two words: Sales" "That's one word," Deck said really putting his accounting experience to work. "That's how … Continue reading Deck and Amy and The Future

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Dear Future Past Me

Dear Future Past Me, Mistakes have been made.  You know how we never did the Spring Break traditional trip to Cancun? You know how we learned margaritas taste pretty okay just before the kids were born and constant sobriety was the only way to stay awake long enough to ensure they were safe and cared … Continue reading Dear Future Past Me

Questionable Lines from A Memoir

Lines from the upcoming memoir of illusionist Ton Ton Brickwork that caused some trepidation at the editor's desk: I awoke from cryogenic freezing craving a hamburger. The only way I would work with Roy again was if he apologized for the incident with the beaver. My tattoo details the four humors...and one pun In September … Continue reading Questionable Lines from A Memoir

Boat Based Basketball

A low sun, light traffic, and a fun destination were the key ingredients of a nice drive this very morning.  Kid-friendly music filled the cabin and as cars and scenery passed by the windows, all seemed pretty calm.  Everything felt so normal. Then my eye caught an abnormality in the right lane.  High above the row of slow … Continue reading Boat Based Basketball

List of Unnecessary But Entirely Needed Sequels

Not all sequels that do exist need to.  Not all movies that need sequels have them.  I plan on correcting that. List of Unnecessary But Entirely Needed Sequels: The Godfather Part Four - characters from Godfather Part Two in the plot of Weekend At Bernie's. Revenge of the Nerds X - The nerds and jocks come … Continue reading List of Unnecessary But Entirely Needed Sequels

Cookbook Hook

One day I fully intend on putting together a cookbook.  I'm an okay-ish cook, but I don't have any training or originality in the art, so the cookbook will mostly be recipes of "what goes well with honey mustard."  But that's not really enough of a hook.  The cookbook hook is the key to all … Continue reading Cookbook Hook

Project Ends Project Begins

This week, a career-making project comes ended.  Lots of hours, lots of planning, lots of not seeing my kids.  I'm pretty stoked to see it all end, but now I'm left to wonder what big project comes next.  I could finish a book, but that alone doesn't make for a funny blog post written while … Continue reading Project Ends Project Begins