Ruds’ Blueprint

Denir raced down the hallway, design blueprints clutched tightly in hand, and stormed into his lead architect’s office.

“Ruds, what is this garbage you’ve presented to me?” Denir shouted.

Ruds looked up from his desk, excited to share his grand vision at last.  “You reviewed the plans then?” The architect asked.

“Yes, I reviewed them.  Do you mind explaining this section?” Denir slammed the crumbled document on Ruds’ desk and pointed to a perplexing area at the end of what would be the tomb’s grand entrance. Continue reading

Island of Legends

Gulls were the final sign; land was near.  The captain ordered the expedition to ready for shore.  Doctors Reed and Wright stood at the ship’s bow taking in the green dot growing larger on the horizon.

“We’ve come a long way, friend.  You’re sure the maps leads to this place?” Dr. Reed questioned.

“Positive, Wright, this island holds the key.  If the legends hold any truth though, great obstacles await,” Dr. Wright confirmed.

Behind them, a stern looking soldier nodded for the two scientists to make way for a boat.

The ride from the boat to shore was choppy.  Reed hated sailing.  Wright and the others in their boat mocked him mercilessly for the lack of sea legs.  Their laughter was silenced when the treeline behind the beach started to rustle before giving way to an enormous beast.

Reed’s sickness left in hurry.  “The legends are true,” he gasped.

“Look at that thing,” Dr. Wright said, “that must be 30 feet tall!” She could hardly hide her delight.

“And adorable!” The stoic soldiers guarding the ship broke character in alarming fashion.

At the beach stood the guardian of an island likely to contain untold riches, resources and secrets.  A guardian poised to protect in the best way possible; complete and total distraction.

“A 30 foot tall quokka,” Reed said, nudging Wright’s shoulder, “we’re never leaving this place.  Expedition! Ready forselfies.”


“And there you have it, big guy, your very own balloon.  Now go run outside, buddy,” The father said to his excited toddler.  The joy of a simple bit of plastic tied to yarn never really made sense to the jaded old man, but the smile and glee pulsing from the child erased any personal doubts the father held.

“Well, that’ll keep him busy.  I’ll start on lunch,” the father said, turning his back on the toddler.

The toddler screamed.

The father turned to see a quizzical scene.  “I looked away for five seconds.”

“Tree eat balloon,” the toddler said.

Step Right Up

“Step right up folks and come see a wonder unlike any other.  Your eyes and your brain are going to have an argument as they piece together the bizarre oddity that awaits you behind this very curtain!  You there, you youngster, do you want to see the most beguiling sight of your so far short life?”

The man in the top hat, long black coat and red vest pointed a cane right at Theodore.

“Ugh, well, we’re kinda doing someth,” Theodore started. Continue reading

And now…

And now….haiku (by someone who really does not understand the format).

No, my skull never
Really stood a chance against
The sharp cabinet door.

Octopus swimming,
Floating in my direction
Screaming; I can’t stop.

Ouch! Ouch! Friggin’ ouch!
I am always such a clutz.
Yeah! Hospital trip.

Snowy mountain peak
A sign of winter coming
Where are the yeti? Continue reading


His head inside what smelled like a bird cage cover, Jackson focused on the horror of what was tasted like a very used, very unclean sock stuffed into his mouth.  The chair his kidnappers placed him in was hard, the sort of chair an angry high school basketball coach would use just to ensure they kept their angry attitude constant.  His hands were loosely tied behind him and he felt his phone buzzing every few moments.

They left me with my phone? Jackson thought.  He was pleased the kidnappers were at least of the dumb variety.  He formulated a plan to call his fiance, just a week away from being his wife, and ensure rescue and escape would follow soon.

He listened for voices, footsteps, breathing; anything to indicate there were other people in the room.  He mumbled incoherently through the sweaty sock.  No response.  He mumbled again.  Only the buzzing sound of his cell phone filled his ears.

I can rock myself free, action movie style he thought.  He rocked the chair side to side gaining momentum to what would ultimately be a very painful fall to the ground.  The chair tumbled, his shoulder screamed in pain and he realized that in the movies the chairs are designed to break; real chairs are not.

The room erupted with the sound of laughter.  Jackson screamed in surprise, but it sounded more like a seal barking underwater and accidentally swallowing some of said water.  More laughter followed.

He felt the stinky head covering move off his head, and the sock was torn from his mouth.

“Brad’s living room?” Jackson questioned.  He recognized an ugly orange chair Brad had won at a college raffle years ago, a shelf of books that had never been -and would never be- read.  “What the heck?”

“Bachelor party time, numb skull!” Jackson’s friends shouted in unison.  Jackson never understood how he came upon his nickname.

“I really, deeply, trust me on this one, loathe each of you right now,” Jackson said.

Brad unbound Jackson’s hands and urged the groom to be to check his phone.

“Oh come on guys, you Periscoped the whole thing? And people outside our circle are watching? That’s crazy messed up,” Jackson protested.  His friends did not stop laughing.


“Thanks for playing, dad!” Child said, skipping away from the table.

“Yeah,” Dad hesitated, “good game, bud.  Thanks.”  Dad had not blinked since the final checker piece fell.  He sat, stunned and numb, in a chair patterned with dinosaur silhouettes.  Before him, a cheap build-it-yourself table held a board of red and black dots.  None of his pieces remained on the board.

He had thought of this moment often, but never imagined it would come so soon.

“You okay?” Mom’s voice called from the other room.

“I didn’t try to lose that one. I actually lost. Weird day,” Dad muttered.