"We absolutely cannot tell anyone about this," Goose said. "I'm mowing it all down now," Gander said. "This is a major discovery!" Patch said. "Tell. No. One." Goose said, firmly. "But... crop circles. Aliens. We have proof." Patch countered. "They say, '#SETIDroolsMarsRules'. Mow 'em down," Goose said. Gander started working.
To the staff of The Lava Group, Upon entry to your facility, I made some terrible assumptions. While it does not excuse my actions, "The Lava Group" is essentially a Bond villain organization's name. I don't feel my initial interpretation of the company based solely on the name was off base. I was there as … Continue reading The Lava Group
Deck typed away at his company furnished laptop after hours and listened to his company furnished cell phone vibrate violently with every new email received. "We should start a business. Be our own boss." He suggested. Amy scoffed. "Two words: Sales" "That's one word," Deck said really putting his accounting experience to work. "That's how … Continue reading Deck and Amy and The Future
Intercom messages on the 2:14 train from South Ocean to Dukberg. 2:15 - Welcome aboard the 2:14 to Dukberg, we are expecting a smooth ride for the six hours. Sit back, relax and we'll have a drink cart moving down the hall in no time. 2:25 - For our long-time travelers, you will notice a … Continue reading Notices on a Train
As I am barely awake at 8:30 pm and reading through the "Throwback Thursday" playlist from Spotify that contains just about every pop-punk band that filled my CD player in high school, I am reminded of this post from about a year ago. Some things never change, but most things make incredible, incremental changes that … Continue reading Waylan Used to Be Cool – Still Relevant
Mission Command, Sweet googly moogly, do not send any more people here. This place, this planet; none of it is like the reports that came from the rovers and probes that preceded me. Robots said there would be primitive flora. There's one very tall tree that drips a green oil from thirty feet above. The … Continue reading Report to Mission Command
Lines from the upcoming memoir of illusionist Ton Ton Brickwork that caused some trepidation at the editor's desk: I awoke from cryogenic freezing craving a hamburger. The only way I would work with Roy again was if he apologized for the incident with the beaver. My tattoo details the four humors...and one pun In September … Continue reading Questionable Lines from A Memoir