To the Fine Patrons and Owners of Lucky’s Freeway Diner

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fountain-pen-1851096_640To the fine patrons and owners of Lucky’s Freeway Diner, creators of unique spins on diner classics like the “Mama’s Chicken Fried Steak” and “Stack-o-Cakes”, I am sorry.

From the moment I entered the establishment and loudly declared the smell of kitchen to be “totally fudgin’ amazeballs” I set a bad example of what a good patron sounds like.  To make matters worse, wearing my torn jeans and blood stained shirt left my visual aesthetic to be desired.

Let me tell you of the moments leading to my appearance in the entryway of the cozy little diner, as I feel some explanation will help explain my behavior.

You see, I’m not usually one for dramatic entrances.  But the hours leading up to my terrible behavior might help my pending court case. Continue reading

Uninspiring

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“You know, you say, ‘fine’, but what I think you really mean is, ‘a spire of volcanic rock just spewed out of the ocean and cooled before our eyes and I have my doubts the boat can turn fast enough.’  Is that what you mean by, ‘we’re fine?'” Allan asked.

The captain, beard waving in the ocean breeze, body moving up and down with the roll of the waves, narrowed his eyes and raised his looking glass, brushing aside Allan’s concerns.

“I’ve seen much worse,” the captain assured the young man.

“When?” Allan protested.

“We’re probably fine,” The captain corrected.

People on the Highway

Driving before the sun is up is odd.  I want to know a better word for it, but ‘odd’ has to suffice.  Lexicon shortage.  Drat.

The odd part about driving before sun is up is that every other light source is at least 45,0000X10^4 brighter than normal.  So that guy in the SUV behind you, the guy who just merged into the left lane to pass you, the guy who forgets to turn off his blinker? Yeah, that guy.  That guy is the worst.

Today’s tale: It was all Yellow Continue reading

A Time for Letting Go

morocco-123962_640Axel sang, “but why, oh why, have you left me to die? Was it nature or nurture that lead me here, oh dear, why oh why is the answer unclear?”

He stood, abandoned on the desert, and sent his song to the fleeing car.

“Tell me what did I do today? Tell me how do I prove it’s okay? Tell me, my love and I’ll change everything your way.”

His cell phone buzzed.

“Signal out here, crystal clear!” He sang before looking at the text.

“It’s because of the Michael Bolton impression. I’m leaving you.”

“That stings,” he sang, decrescendo.

Helpful

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via Pixabay

“Mack, go help that guy.”

“He looks fine, Pearl.  There’s no need to get involved.”

“How is he fine?”

“Well, he’s not screaming in agony, is he?”

“That should be more alarming.  Look at all this ice.  Poor fella could have bonked his head.”

“Look around, no one else is concerned.”

“Mack. Go help him.”

“Pearl, I’m telling you, Farmer John is fine.  Pearl, don’t give me that look.”

“You haven’t seen a look yet. Go help that poor man before that annoying dog tries to eat his legs.”

“Fine,. I’ll go ‘ba’ at him for a moment.”

“Thank you.”

Flock

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The flock had seen the Great Lakes, the heads at Mount Rushmore, whatever one calls the empty space between towns in Wyoming.  They had seen these attractions all in the course of a week.

The week prior, the birds had traveled over the Appleseed trail, made friends with wild turkeys in New England and tried their best to spot early Norse settlements in Newfoundland with no luck.

Through it all the birds flew, ate and dirtied windshields with glee.

Only their leader, the wise old Frank Goose knew the true reason of their extended trip; he was lost as fu…

Coffee Cup Down

coffee-1030971_1920“Come take a look at this!”

Coffee cup down.

“We need to talk.”

Coffee cup down.

“Meeting. Five minutes.”

Coffee cup down.

“Everyone, stop what you’re doing and follow me.”

Coffee cup down.

 

 

*The cup is a metaphor for actually trying to accomplish your goals.  The world will stop you.

**Wowsa! Dark. Go out and try stuff.

***But recognize that your efforts are futile.

****Yeesh. That above point is wildly untrue.  Go try, do, build, make, learn. Better yourself and those around you.  Life is grand.

*****But, you know, brace for failure.

******Sweet googly moogly what sort of week has this been?

*******A typical one.

********Harsh.

*********Reality.

**********We can make our own reality by trying to succeed!

***********Do or do not, homie. There is no try.

************That’s my entire point.

*************Well played.

**************Optimism wins the day!