Parenting Haiku

Suddenly silent
The children are not in sight
Trouble is afoot

“Eat your dinner please.”
Answered by face full of peas
“You have had enough.”

Cartoons on the screen.
Watched this five times yesterday.
Seven more today.

“F*&*() onion! Ow!”
“Daddy, what does that all mean?”
“Cookies! Don’t tell mom.”

Trying something new
Day begins at 6am.
Sleeping in today.

Diapers everywhere.
Potty training better stick
Diapers go away.


Thanks for reading!



How I Learned to Play Guitar (Now in Haiku Form)


How I learned to play guitar
Calluses formed slow.

Giggle Giggle Ha
This thing has a G string.
No, I’m Listening.

I will start a band.
The best band in all the land.
Once I read this stuff.




Thanks for reading!

Some entertainment options you may enjoy:

Cursed by Dice podcast

Lunch Hour Characters (bad art, humorously captioned)

Free books

$1 Books


Perhaps buy me a coffee?

Egg is a Good Dog

And now; haiku from the perspective of a good dog named Egg.


Egg is a good dog.
Owner forgot her cell phone.
Egg runs back for it.

Rabbit! Over there!
I’ll catch it! Don’t you worry.
Egg is a good dog.

Egg is a good dog.
Knows what all the secrets are
But won’t say a word.

I’ll bark all day long.
I’ll stop barking when I’m done.
Egg is never done.

Egg is a good dog.
But Egg has a weird ol’ name.
Egg likes Beetlejuice.

Egg is a good dog.
Egg found a bird for Owner.
Egg has made mistakes.


Thanks for reading!

Cursed By Dice is my new live-play tabletop RPG podcast.  Come check out the first three episodes by clicking here and follow along for fun!


The Robot Made Art

“Jenkins, come quick!” Old Man Wilson called.  “The R&D lab has finally done it! They’ve created an AI capable of art.  We no longer need an advertising department.”

Jenkins ran to his boss’ voice and hoped the claim was false.  Jenkins was the advertising department.

“Look at this series of haiku the little scamp put together,” Old Man Wilson handed Jenkins a print out of what the robot created.

Haiku is great for
Anyone who needs stories
To end with fire.

They are wonderful
For all time and occasion
When fire is good.

Fire will cleanse all
Fire will save the planet
Fire fire flame.

“Isn’t it funny?” Old Man Wilson asked, laughing.  “This thing will destroy us all the second we give it a body.”

“That project is coming along nicely, sir,” one of the R&D scientists said gleefully.

“Splendid!  Jenkins, start writing up an ad apologizing for the destruction of society at the hands of pyromaniac robots will you?” With a slap to Jenkins’ shoulder, Old Man Wilson walked away and the robot began printing more haiku.


Thanks for reading!


One Tough Job

Wander the forest.
Lonely days are common place.
Bigfoot will be found.

Workday Haiku

I’m starting to understand the allure of haiku.  It’s kinda like chess.  Easy to learn, impossible to master. The format provides a wonderful template to really get at the heart of an issue.  The issue this time around? Work.

“Fix the spreadsheet, please.”
How did it manage to break?
“Click, drag and delete.”

What’s on tap today?
Meeting in seven minutes.
I need my coffee. Continue reading

Weekend Haiku

Saturday, kids run. 

Monday still so far away. 

Sunday drink coffee.