To the Fine Patrons and Owners of Lucky’s Freeway Diner

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fountain-pen-1851096_640To the fine patrons and owners of Lucky’s Freeway Diner, creators of unique spins on diner classics like the “Mama’s Chicken Fried Steak” and “Stack-o-Cakes”, I am sorry.

From the moment I entered the establishment and loudly declared the smell of kitchen to be “totally fudgin’ amazeballs” I set a bad example of what a good patron sounds like.  To make matters worse, wearing my torn jeans and blood stained shirt left my visual aesthetic to be desired.

Let me tell you of the moments leading to my appearance in the entryway of the cozy little diner, as I feel some explanation will help explain my behavior.

You see, I’m not usually one for dramatic entrances.  But the hours leading up to my terrible behavior might help my pending court case. Continue reading

People on the Highway

Driving before the sun is up is odd.  I want to know a better word for it, but ‘odd’ has to suffice.  Lexicon shortage.  Drat.

The odd part about driving before sun is up is that every other light source is at least 45,0000X10^4 brighter than normal.  So that guy in the SUV behind you, the guy who just merged into the left lane to pass you, the guy who forgets to turn off his blinker? Yeah, that guy.  That guy is the worst.

Today’s tale: It was all Yellow Continue reading

Flock

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The flock had seen the Great Lakes, the heads at Mount Rushmore, whatever one calls the empty space between towns in Wyoming.  They had seen these attractions all in the course of a week.

The week prior, the birds had traveled over the Appleseed trail, made friends with wild turkeys in New England and tried their best to spot early Norse settlements in Newfoundland with no luck.

Through it all the birds flew, ate and dirtied windshields with glee.

Only their leader, the wise old Frank Goose knew the true reason of their extended trip; he was lost as fu…

Coffee Cup Down

coffee-1030971_1920“Come take a look at this!”

Coffee cup down.

“We need to talk.”

Coffee cup down.

“Meeting. Five minutes.”

Coffee cup down.

“Everyone, stop what you’re doing and follow me.”

Coffee cup down.

 

 

*The cup is a metaphor for actually trying to accomplish your goals.  The world will stop you.

**Wowsa! Dark. Go out and try stuff.

***But recognize that your efforts are futile.

****Yeesh. That above point is wildly untrue.  Go try, do, build, make, learn. Better yourself and those around you.  Life is grand.

*****But, you know, brace for failure.

******Sweet googly moogly what sort of week has this been?

*******A typical one.

********Harsh.

*********Reality.

**********We can make our own reality by trying to succeed!

***********Do or do not, homie. There is no try.

************That’s my entire point.

*************Well played.

**************Optimism wins the day!

Wilbur Robs a Jewelry Store

Long, deep, loud breaths.  Wilbur could feel his heart race, pulse pounding in his ears.  All he could hear was rapidly pumping blood.

“That heist went south, Man.  How did they get there so fast?” Wilbur’s partner in crime asked.

“I don’t know. I just don’t know.  We got the jewels. We got the money. We’re going to be alright,” Wilbur explained.  He was hardly convinced his own words were true.  His spine pressed into a cold wall of red brick.  He didn’t know what street he and his partner had found refuge on, but he knew the buildings here were not going to hide them for long.

Sirens grew loud and soft again as squad cars moved down a nearby street.

“We have to move,” Wilbur told his partner. Continue reading

Erik, Dale, and the Mine

Erik sat on  boulder. A wet, very pointy boulder.  He was not exactly thrilled with the way the day had gone.

“Maybe if we turn back and try a right at the last intersection?” Dale offered his insight.

Erik did not know if he wanted to reply.  When the two entered the old mine, Dale was so confident that he knew the paths inside and out.  Now they were deep within the earth with little food, little light and little patience.

“I’m sorry about this, Erik,” Dale said, the humiliation in his voice not missed. Continue reading

Steampunk Origin Stories of Common Activities Volume 1: Ants

“Dr. Naik,” shouted little Wendy Tanah, a hyper-inquisitive child who had a knack for showing up in places she wished had not ventured.

“Curious one, Ms. Tanah,” Dr. Naik called down from his ever higher hot-air balloon.  “What can I aide you with this day?”  The doctor enjoyed the children of his quaint village and their natural sense of wonder.  Their excitement and interest in his experiments enhanced the joy of his pursuit of science. Continue reading