Sandwiches

“Who wants a turkey sandwich!” Dad shouted with enthusiasm, trying to make lunch an ‘event’ this time around.

“I do!” the children shouted back excitedly.

“Who wants mayo? Pickles? Lettuce? Mustard? Tomato?” Dad fired off options in rapid order.

“All of it! Yeah! Woohoo!” the oldest child screamed, cheering. The youngest echoed his brother’s call.

“You guys got it,” Dad said assembling the sandwiches.  “And they’re ready!” Dad put plates before the kids and lunch was on.

“Dad, I don’t want this,” the oldest said, looking over the plate.  The youngest followed.

“You’re both difficult, you know that?” Dad said.

Spider and Monster Have a Chat

“So, reclusive ancient sea monster is your gig, eh?” Spider asked.

“Yeah, it’s pretty sweet. I eat boats on occasion. They think I live in the water! Nope. Basement of the golf club restaurant.” Monster answered.  “What do you do?”

“Oh, I pop up in showers, on walls; the usual jump scare stuff.  Mostly I just leave web absolutely everywhere. People hate touching this stuff.  You should see ’em when it touches their face! Hilarious,” Spider said.

“That’s amazing! But, that does leave a question. Where are you hanging from right now?” Monster asked.

“I stopped questioning that long ago.”

 

Wade at the End of the World

If a person could be defined by a sound, Wade could be defined as the rumble of an empty stomach.  People can’t be defined as sounds though, so they are left to be defined by their actions and words.  Wade was better defined as a hunter of prey that probably deserved a head start.

“Would you just stop so I can eat you!” Wade shouted at a very fast chicken. “Dinner for one, to go. Amirite?”

A laugh not his own sounded behind the rubble. At that moment, Wade was defined as the sound of screams on a roller coaster.

Team Building

via Pixabay

“Sir, how does this pertain to the business?” Jenkins asked.

“Jenkins, you’re a good employee.  This is a team building activity.” Johnson answered.  Johnson always had an answer at the ready.  This both impressed and exhausted Jenkins.

“I appreciate that, sir, but most companies opt for trust falls or volunteer work.  We are standing in a marsh with shovels and that ‘tour guide’ you hired is obviously reading a treasure map,” Jenkins hoped the comment was not heard as snarky.

“Astute observations, Jenkins. Well done.” Johnson began handing out hard hats.

“So we’re treasure hunting then?”

“Right you are, Jenkins!”

Reflection

“He’s just so obnoxious,” Lawson said, from behind his hands.

“I understand, but you have to be the bigger person here. Set a good example,” Cady said. She stood in the doorway of the bedroom, where Lawson sat on the bed and continued refusing to leave.

“That thing he did at lunch? Ugh! It’s like he knows each and every button to press,” Lawon lamented.

“Yeah, he’s a nightmare. But he’s your five year old son. You can make him a better person,” Cady said, smiling.

“That argument again? It hasn’t been working so far,” Lawson said, leaving the room.

An (Attempted) Nice Night

“A nice night. Just us.  You. Me. No kids in sight with the exception of that group of eight year olds on the other side of the building.”  Janet hoped her ‘nice night’ remark landed.

“You know, there are circles that think mosquito borne malaria is the leading cause of human death through history,” Marcus said.  Janet’s words went unheeded.

“Let’s leave the killer bug talk for the weekend okay?”

“Just saying, bugs are murderers and we’ve opted to surround ourselves with them.  We’re in their lair now. They’re like super villains.”

“I’m going to read about butterflies over there.”

A Walk in the Woods

“Nancy. Nancy they saw us.”

“Keep calm, Bryan, they are just as scared of us as we are of them.”

“No. No we’re not. We will mess you up if get any closer.”

“The goat just spoke. Nancy. Nancy. The goat is talking.”

“My name is Robert, Bryan. Bleat it, or I’m calling the cops.”

“Bryan, stop laughing at Robert. Robert, sweetie, we are just going to back away.”

“He said, ‘bleat it!'”

“Bryan, stop laughing. Again, I’m so sorry about this, Robert.”

“It’s going to be a gruff day for you, Bryan.”

“Oh, come on, that was on purpose!”