A Warning Ignored

“There’s something terrifying down in that canyon. My last venture resulted in the loss of three explorers.  A creature, born of fire and greed, based on how quickly it moved and devoured all it touched, lurks.  Waits. Watches.  I saw Predator and thought it was a comedy.  No longer shall I laugh, for I have seen the devil and it comes for more.  Do not travel into the mouth of the beast.  You will not return!”

“That is one talkative donkey, Janet,” the tourist said.

“He’s always been quite social.  You ready for your adventure?!” Janet readied the next tour.

 

The Loan

“I am sorry, Mr. Evilbeard, Bank of Slow Island will not be able to approve your loan,” the banker informed Francis.

“Oh, come on!” Francis exploded.  His fists slammed against the giant desk between he and the banker.  “Country Bank, First Place Bank, Loan-Star Bank; no one has the courage to finance this! Be bold, Hank!”

“It’s just not practical,” The banker explained.

“Do you know what a think tank of evil scientists and engineers could accomplish? Untold innovations await mad science.”

“‘Evil think tank’ is where the pitch goes awry. It’s a PR nightmare.”

“Blast you, Hank!” Francis left.

Dreams of Trampolines

“Hey, neighbor! Cool new trampoline, huh? Kids are going to love that,” Gary said in the first interaction he had with his neighbor, hopefully named Paul because that’s the name Gary had set to his neighbor’s face and was way too late to change that now, in what must have been five months.

“Hey, Gary,” Paul replied, “this is for me.”  Gary noticed Paul’s glazed over eyes looking in the direction of the newly assembled trampoline.  “I plan on jumping to the moon. Getting far, far away from here.”

“Things, uh…things okay at work, Paul?” Gary asked.

“Not so much.”

 

 

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Sandwiches

“Who wants a turkey sandwich!” Dad shouted with enthusiasm, trying to make lunch an ‘event’ this time around.

“I do!” the children shouted back excitedly.

“Who wants mayo? Pickles? Lettuce? Mustard? Tomato?” Dad fired off options in rapid order.

“All of it! Yeah! Woohoo!” the oldest child screamed, cheering. The youngest echoed his brother’s call.

“You guys got it,” Dad said assembling the sandwiches.  “And they’re ready!” Dad put plates before the kids and lunch was on.

“Dad, I don’t want this,” the oldest said, looking over the plate.  The youngest followed.

“You’re both difficult, you know that?” Dad said.

Spider and Monster Have a Chat

“So, reclusive ancient sea monster is your gig, eh?” Spider asked.

“Yeah, it’s pretty sweet. I eat boats on occasion. They think I live in the water! Nope. Basement of the golf club restaurant.” Monster answered.  “What do you do?”

“Oh, I pop up in showers, on walls; the usual jump scare stuff.  Mostly I just leave web absolutely everywhere. People hate touching this stuff.  You should see ’em when it touches their face! Hilarious,” Spider said.

“That’s amazing! But, that does leave a question. Where are you hanging from right now?” Monster asked.

“I stopped questioning that long ago.”

 

Wade at the End of the World

If a person could be defined by a sound, Wade could be defined as the rumble of an empty stomach.  People can’t be defined as sounds though, so they are left to be defined by their actions and words.  Wade was better defined as a hunter of prey that probably deserved a head start.

“Would you just stop so I can eat you!” Wade shouted at a very fast chicken. “Dinner for one, to go. Amirite?”

A laugh not his own sounded behind the rubble. At that moment, Wade was defined as the sound of screams on a roller coaster.

Team Building

via Pixabay

“Sir, how does this pertain to the business?” Jenkins asked.

“Jenkins, you’re a good employee.  This is a team building activity.” Johnson answered.  Johnson always had an answer at the ready.  This both impressed and exhausted Jenkins.

“I appreciate that, sir, but most companies opt for trust falls or volunteer work.  We are standing in a marsh with shovels and that ‘tour guide’ you hired is obviously reading a treasure map,” Jenkins hoped the comment was not heard as snarky.

“Astute observations, Jenkins. Well done.” Johnson began handing out hard hats.

“So we’re treasure hunting then?”

“Right you are, Jenkins!”