First Chapter

Earlier this month, unbeknownst to me because of spectacular inability to check email, the very first place to publish something I wrote shut down.  Jukepop Serial started a whole bunch of really amazing authors (still no idea how/why they picked my story, but it was pretty cool nonetheless).  The site no longer exists, likey because its authors (read: me) did absolutely nothing to promote visitation.  Sorry.

It was a really, really fun experience to submit that first chapter of Wren, wait ten days, get an acceptance email and start writing a superhero adventure in a serial format.  While I was actively writing the serial I gained a few regular readers and chit-chatted with them over Twitter and email.  Thanks to Wren, I gained exposure and had my full book, Pendleton Connor Claims the Sky picked up by an indie publisher (but, please don’t buy it ’cause that publisher should not get any money ever and I republished it on my own – once the original contract expired- as The Egress and the Jupiter Cult, but the first title was so much cooler).  From all that came this blog, a number of self published books, writing for Project Nerd for regular movie reviews, and so, so many started stories that have stalled out.

Wren started it all though.  I’m sad to see Jukepop go, but the serial fiction boom they helped re-invigorate is still going strong.  I have no idea what to do with Wren now.  Frankly, I just don’t like most of the later chapters and have no energy to redo it.  The start though, good golly, that start is still pretty dang good if I do say so myself.  Jukepop paid a certain amount per word up to $100 and thanks to the power of math, that full $100 came if your accepted story was 5,000 words to start.  Incredibly unfriendly to the internet reading audience.  The number of readers from chapter 1 to chapter 2 dropped about 60%.  It was a crazy idea to start off with such a wall of text.

Here now, the first thing I ever had published.

Wren
Chapter 1 Continue reading

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Answers from the Adviceroy

Dear Adviceroy,

I ran into a bit of a social quandary today and I know your winged knowledge can assist.  I am pretty sure my roommate used my toothbrush.  What’s the best way to bring up the subject and go about my gingivitis battling business?

Signed,
Brusher in Buffalo

Dear Brusher,

The easiest way to solve this issue is to collect five other toothbrushes, train them in five different martial arts fighting styles and decide upon a code word that will trigger them to form one giant, mightier (because teamwork) toothbrush that can battle away your roommate if push, neigh, if brush comes to shove.  Your mighty, transforming toothbrush team will work the problem out and you get to avoid a kind weird chat about how you found out the toothbrush was used erroneously.

Happy training!

Singed,
The Adviceroy

Do YOU have a question for the Adviceroy?  Well, the Adviceroy has answers for you.  Fill out the form below or click here to email the wee butterfly.

Lunch Hour Characters

I have not plugged blog number two in quite some time, but Lunch Hour Characters is (shockingly) still a thing.  A delightfully absurd, weird thing. Six months in.  Time is a strange beast.

Here’s a look at some of the recent content:

Paul collects stamps. And travel experiences!

 

 

Bad art. Bad stories. Daily updates. Link: https://lunchhourcharacters.wordpress.com

I can call it quits now

My list of crowning life achievements goes a bit like this:

  1. Marrying my wife
  2. Kids join the family
  3. Educational achievement
  4. Someone found my website by searching “lame jokes at night”
  5. Made a really good taco that one time.

Talk about life goals, eh? Sure the search probably came from Bing and I don’t want to know the searcher on a personal level because of that, but now I know that if someone out there is (literally) searching for lame jokes at night this little website will be there for them.

Achievement unlocked. I’m going home.

Well.

I am home. Double achievement unlocks! It is a good day.

August Plans

The eighth month of 2017 has arrived! There’s hope, potential and the promise of new things on the horizon.  Or something like that.  Now is a good time to sit back, relax and set some goals for the month.

Goals like…

6 new regular readers all with the nickname “Wild”.  That would be so…wild.

A haiku a day.
At least until the voices
Go far, far away.

Work out…a way to solve every Sudoku in under five minutes.

Get a more popular hobby than Sudoku.

Two words: Hologram Coffee.

Learn to build stuff in Flash. That program is going to be around forever.

Start a band dedicated to accordion covers of Ace of Base hits.

Learn the words to every Alice Cooper song. Profit.

Two more words: Book Club Sandwich.

Count better.

It’s going to be a great month.

 

Thanks for reading! Happy August.

Second Blog?

I’m addicted. So second blog it is!

Come on over to Lunch Hour Characters for bad art, silly captions and watch my slow decent into madness as characters come to life in the odd moments of downtime.

https://lunchhourcharacters.wordpress.com/

We’ll see how this single topic blog thing works out.  Experimentation is good.  With that mentality I think it becomes a science blog…

…no.

You could give my Facebook page a ‘like’ and technically be subscribed to both this site and Lunch Hour Characters all at once.  That’s efficiency.

Have a great weekend!

Support Groups for Trivial Issues

I’m pretty sure the internet exists to let people know they aren’t alone in their trivial concerns.  That’s no reason to avoid the issue.  We need others to suffer with us.

Wait.

…No.

We need to know others are suffering too?  Golly this is a depressing topic.

We’re talking about it anyway! Support groups for all sort of things are needed.

Groups like… Continue reading