A Few (six) Words on Stuff

Obscure titles worry the tepid reader.

Charge at 3%, send final text.

Bacon is in my ear. How?

The children are silent. Everyone panic.

Saturday morning cartoons on a Monday!

The last of them has fallen.

Wedding suit rests on the bed.

There’s still bacon in my ear!

Wisdom of age proved incredibly useless.

No memory of the blood stains.

Immortal and bored; the feared combo.

Rabbit soup made Pooh very sad.

Sunglasses made of plastic, not sun.

Winner of a business card lunch!

Punch the clock, lose a day.

The sign clearly said “no entry”.

The door jamb proved quite important.

For crying out loud! Bacon again?

The dark hallway held many secrets.

 

And that’ll do it for tonight.  If you’re looking for more six word stories, paired with terrible art, come on over to Lunch Hour Characters lunchhourcharacters.wordpress.com

Thanks for reading!

 

 

Caden’s Towers of Stone

 

Caden of the Far Meadow possessed no skills.  His farmland barely provided a yield, his fishing ability was legendary for its mediocrity, and his conversation was dull to put it nicely.  He did have a few things going for him; an incredible self awareness of his shortcomings, and friends throughout the village to assist with the skill gap.  Still, he wished to contribute something, anything to the advancement of his village.

Caden of the Far Meadow was not exactly one to possess helpful ideas. Continue reading

Home Court

“17, the up and comer from Indiana, La Hoy is moving fast! Moves by the defenders. They can’t stop this kid!”

Stuart La Hoy heard the play by play being shouted by the announcers from a booth above the stadium’s bleachers.  They were far enough away to make the clarity of their voices reason for concern.  If they could be heard on the court, over the screaming fans and defensive players, certainly they were inflicting hearing damage on the poor ticket holders near the booth.  Stuart was not sure why he was so concerned for the health of the opposing team’s fans, but he plotted scheduling audiograms for the whole crowd should his big contract ever materialize. Continue reading

Two Truths and a Lie

Oran loathed ice breakers.

“Okay, gang, now let’s try for a fun one two truths and a lie!” The leader of this little workplace team builder event said.  For some reason the words received a round of applause.  Oran understood so little of the office he spent so much time with.  He tuned out as the rules were explained and the first few coworkers told blatant lies as truths.

Oran noticed his turn was quickly approaching.  He racked his brain for a lie.  He was no good at lying.  He pondered a soap pun for a moment, but bailed on the idea as too meta for the crowd.

“Oran, you’re turn! Try to stump us, ye the master of the purchasing department.” The leader said, pointing an open palm at Oran to somehow indicate it was his turn.

Nervous laughter started Oran’s speech.

“Well, let’s see here.  Two truth and a lie.  This is tougher than it seemed at first!  Okay, okay.  I grew up in Nebraska. I am the herald of the intergalactic emperor T’Li the Crusher of Weakness, bound to destroy all those who oppose his rule, and my favorite movie is West Side Story.”

Laughter erupted from the crowd.

“Well, that lie was pretty easy to spot! Thanks for showing us your poker face, Oran! Let’s move right along then.”

The excursion’s leader had skipped the rest of Oran’s turn entirely.  To this point, the vanguard of T’Li’s galactic army had been waffling on sparing Earth and it’s inhabitants from destruction.  This ice breaker event had sent his opinion moving in one very certain direction now.  He had never even seen Nebraska, and now his coworkers would not know such a tidbit.

 

 

Thanks for reading!

A Compass Unused

“Sure, sure, okay.  I understand your anger.  You’re upset with good reason.  The lake I promised is nowhere in sight.  You may have noticed the humidity is actually going down with each and every step,” Caleb told the rather cross group of hikers before him.

“I certainly did notice!” One particularly displeased hiker replied.

“Confession time for ol’ Caleb.  I have no idea what this compass means.  So we’re going to walk around until someone hears a wave crash or big ol’ bird go ‘ka-kaw’ and make a splash.  Solid plan?” Caleb asked.

The hikers seized the compass and map.

(Terrible) Advice From a (Completely Uninformed) Expert

Dear, Questions for Quinton,

I am having difficulty with a coworker who seems incapable of empathy.  I’ve missed a few days at work due to a family crisis and upon my return, the coworker, I’ll call her “Sam the Sea Monster of Horrid Person Bay,” slams a stack of printed emails onto my desk and howls at me, “your work load is too much for me to cover!”

I was stunned.  I was mourning the loss of a relative and Sam the Sea Monster of Horrid Person Bay took the time to print every email she was cc’d on during my time away just to prove a point.  Yes, my work load is too much for one person to take on in conjunction with their own (that’s why there are two of us!).

How can I show my coworker they are being incredibly too mean and need to be empathetic in this trying time?

Thank you for your insight,

Hurt in Huron.

Dear, Hurt in Huron,

First up; coming back from an extended time away from the office requires one thing upon return.  Re-establish dominance.  Start by Continue reading

Quint’s Silent Steps

“My phone is still in there,”  Quint said, horrified.

Gwen stared, mimicking the new father’s face, “You. Did. Not.”

“I can save this.  In and out.” Quint was pretty sure of his ability to remain silent.

Gwen’s confidence in him was low, but that was attributable to lack of sleep and caffeine.  “You move like a ninja or you sleep on the couch. Understood?”

Quint nodded and opened the door.

~~~Literally 13 seconds later~~~

“That thing came out of nowhere!” Quint said, placing an ice pack on his knee.

“It’s the changing table, dear.” Gwen said.

The baby was wide awake.