Valentine’s Day

It’s Valentine’s Day! Here are some thoughts for my tombstone’s epitaph.

Pox came down and smashed this clown

His final word rhymed with orange

He tried. He died. Lesson learned. Continue reading

Must Haves: A Quiet Weekend

Thursday.  This week will not end.  I realize that is not exactly how time works, but I remain fairly convinced the week has stalled.  I have been working with Bootstrap this week to create a very primitive LMS, meanwhile using the Bootstrap 3 CSS to make a fairly ‘okay’ org chart for my company and soon I get to make a bunch of videos for….oh no. I’ve bored myself to tears.

It is time to look ahead to the weekend.  A quiet weekend.  A weekend without tracking down that one lousy < that was missed to close a lousy div that shouldn’t have been….sigh.

A quiet weekend must have:

A nice, quiet job through a local park.

A fellow jogger running into you, but taking a moment to say, ‘sorry’ before they run off noticeably faster than most other joggers.

A kind dog barking at a forested section of the park.

A good long chat with an empathetic police officer.  They’re certainly going to catch whomever did this!  Quiet afternoons are all about staying positive. Continue reading

Subscription Box Services That Must Exist

I love the concept of monthly subscription boxes.  Wine, geek toys, games, all sorts of possibilities exist.  If I had the funds, I’d totally start a subscription box service of my own.  What could possibly in need of monthly delivery though? What market remains untapped?

Hmm…I wonder….

via Giphy

Continue reading

Movie Trailers 2

*Thriller movie trailer voice* In a world full of broken doors, you’re always In a Jamb Coming this fall.

*Rom-com* The fabric shop served the community for years.  All good things come to an end though.  One last home design gig and she was out of the biz, off to new adventures.  She didn’t expect her final client to be such a stitch.  It’s Curtains this Winter.   —see, ’cause Curtains can also be the close of something, and as a fabric shop that does home design they would make curtains….ah, this was a stretch.

*Comedy, Dark, Dark, Most People don’t get that it’s elaborate satire.* The voters went mad! The government went madder.  It’s Electoral Disfunction popping up this fall.

*Comedy trailer voice* His movie collection was all that mattered.  DVD, Blu-Ray, Laserdisc even, the movies played.  He’s about to take a day off work and marathon all he can.  It’s more exciting than it sounds.  This Summer, come see Discomfort.

*Comedy trailer voice* Medical school sucks.  Party animals Rory and Oregon have a plan to change that.  This summer, no one is Bored of Medicine.

*Horror movie voice over* It was always around the house.  Under the grill.  Under the deck.  Waiting.  The Johnsons never suspected.  Their neighbors never suspected.  When the earthquake hit, they finally understood.  Coming this March to theaters everywhere; The Fault in Our Yards

 

Thanks for reading!

The Zombie Rock Opera in My Head

First up, Shaun of the Dead is a perfect movie.  With that in mind, know that I am now and will forever be a fan of the zombie genre.  Books, films, games both tabletop and video; give me an undead horde and I’m there.  It’s a healthy obsession now in its second decade and I am fine with that.

Could my obsession be going over the edge with outlining a zombie themed rock opera? Yes.  I’m doing it anyway!

Here’s the set list.

The Only Outbreak I Used to be Worried About was Acne The opening song to introduce our main hero, a teenager just trying to survive.  A solo number, it opens with the character against a bathroom door being torn apart by undead hands.  The hero is armed with a hair dryer and a fire poker.  Ends with a bunch of re-dead undead laying around the hero.  Cut the lights. Continue reading

Hashtags of the Near Future

I’m going to spend 2017 really focused on the future (two and four years ahead specifically).  As part of this goal of looking ahead, pondering what the future holds one thing I am terribly excited for are the hash tag trends we’ll see.  We’ve seen #TheDress, #MakeAMovieLessThrillingByAddingATomato, #RememberL33t5p34k before, but future trends? Oh golly…

Hashtags of the Near Future:

#I’m Oddly Fine with the Alexa Uprising

#20 Years Of Emo  Yeah, yeeeeeaaaaah. Remember emo, early aughts kids? It’s going to be classic rock soon.  Feel old with me.  (I understand this is only marking the mainstream break of emo, as the genre has roots in post-hardcore scenes since the 80s and existed on the periphery of grunge Continue reading

Movies Trailers (For Movies Based on Benjamin Franklin Quotes)

(Teens, around a camp fire, lightning bugs zipping about, crickets chirping, surrounded by tall trees with only the glow of the flame to light the woods)

“Did you guys hear about the accountant that went on a murder spree?”

“That’s just an urban legend, Kenny, stop trying to scare us”

“Wait, did you guys hear that?”

“That sounds like the keys on a calculator that uses those old school tape rolls!”

“Run for your lives!”

This April, nothing is certain but….Death and Taxes

 

 

(dirty alleyway between red brick towers, rain pouring in sheets, two silhouettes are seen under a flickering street lamp inexplicably placed in an alley way)

“I swear, I’ll take this to my grave!”

“Me too.  My lips are sealed!”

“Well, you’re both right.”

This summer, three may keep a secret if two of them are dead.  See Poor Richard.

 

 

(classroom setting, half erased chalk board at front of the room, hamster cage on a counter with an empty wheel just spinning)

She was talented, but not a show-off.  Her teacher was having none of it.

“You have to use your gifts, sweet one!”

“But they’ll all laugh at me!”

“Hide not your talents, for use they were made!”

This November, Sundial in the Shade

 

 

(pitch black room, panicked voices, shuffling footsteps)

“Curse you darkness! Curse you!”

This Halloween.  Light a Candle.