Voicemail Philosophy from 2342

The fear of previous generations was technology eroding away our humanity.  They grew up with Borg on TV, Hal9000 making very calm threats and Google Ad-Words tracking their every step.  Don’t even start on those Terminator films.  Black Mirror told them their lives were becoming less social, tech was manipulating their minds and ruining the very core of their essence.  Pop culture made an enemy out of technology and enemies sell well.

I pity those generations of days gone by for they were not allowed to see the humanity of technology.  Tech was and is gorgeous, complex, chaotic, lovely, friendly, temperamental.  It breaks and ages and learns and grows and does not quite understand what comes after it, but makes a good effort to be compatible.  Tech, one might say, is created in our image.  Tech is human.

Humanity had nothing to be afraid of as it began to use more and more technology in every day life.  We took our tech to the forests and recorded rare creatures.  We took our tech underwater and discovered new species.  We took our tech to space and created homes.  Tech helped us understand each other better, read emotions better, communicate faster and deeper and wider.  Technology enhanced our humanity.

Of course, it did change the actual shape of humanity.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my current chassis and no one in 1912 thought they would have tires for feet, and worry about radiator fluid on the lungs, but there are times I wonder what shoes feel like.

That’s the end of my letter.  The guys and I are in full ‘camper’ mode this weekend and heading up the hill to watch birds.  My phone will be off, but holo-text me if needed.

 

Peace out, home slice.

Sorry about the vocal message.  Trying to keep with the old school feel of the weekend.

Cursed by Dice a new RPG Podcast

A brand spankin’ new podcast for the story telling, group game playing folks out there.  Cursed by Dice uses the Fate Core system to (poorly) help heroes solve puzzles, battle foes and try their best to start a VW bus.

It can be found on iTunes here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cursed-by-dice/id1271099109

The Cursed By Dice website is begging for followers right here: https://cursedbydice.wordpress.com

Follow us on Twitter @CursedByDice  

I want to make the whole thing as interactive as a podcast can be, so I’m asking for listener help in suggesting items, names, places and all the 80s references you can provide and we’ll work them into the story.  Send a tweet, a comment, an email, choose your method of communication and we’re there.  Check out the cursedbydice.wordpress.com site for full details on contacting the show.

For those not using iTunes as their preferred podcast source, the hosted version can be found here: http://www.podcasts.com/cursed-by-dice-01b9cda3c or add it the RSS to your podcast player with this link: http://www.podcasts.com/rss_feed/d084bd366bc1fade9e2ac9a0b7f46f2e

 

I’m super excited for this one and hope you like it too. Putting together a fun story alongside some of my favorite people has been tremendous fun and they are so very entertaining.  If you do like the show, a review and/or sharing the show with your friends, family, neighbors, or even your enemies is greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks for reading and listening!

People on the Highway

I work for a multi-facility company which means sometimes I get to leave work at rush hour from the far side of what amounts to a major city for my region.  The drive home takes forever.  Tonight was one of those nights.  Usually, I’m rather displeased with this as it takes an extra hour to get home.  Tonight was a different story entirely.

Today’s tale: Burnside’s Time Travels Continue reading

Walter Keeps the Pests Away

“This stuff is good at keeping pests away, right?” Walter asked the sales clerk.

“Well, it is called ‘Bug Off’ so you should be set,” The clerk replied.

“Will it work on ducks?”

“Like, will it help ducks avoid pests?”  The clerk was unsure if the question was serious, but played along anyway.

“Um…yeah,” Walter sensed the clerk’s confusion.

“Or do you mean will it keep ducks away?”

“That. Definitely that,” Walter’s relief was tangible.

“I don’t think ducks technically count as pests.”

“They are to me.”

“Well it’s worth trying out then,” The clerk was not curious enough to continue the conversation.

“I’ll take it!” Walter handed the clerk a credit card, made his purchase and left the store.

The clerk shook his head as the strangest customer of the day exited the shop then went back to cleaning the store’s front windows.  As the final swipe of the squeegee ran over the window, the clerk looked out to see a group of three ducks run by the window.  The ducks honked and squawked angrily, obviously running from something.  That something was Walter.

Walter’s maniacal laugh could be heard through the window.  “Yes! Finally! I get a buffer zone from you pesky creatures of doom!”

The clerk watched Walter chase the ducks and spray himself with the pest repellent over and over again.

“That was pretty duckin’ weird,” the clerk said to himself, chuckling.  “Thank goodness no one was around to hear that one.”

 

 

Thanks for reading!
Need a book? Here’s a freebie: His Grandfather’s Ring
Need more books? Amazon it up!
Need a coffee mug? I have those too! Society6
Want to stare at bad at? Lunch Hour Characters is for you.

August Plans

The eighth month of 2017 has arrived! There’s hope, potential and the promise of new things on the horizon.  Or something like that.  Now is a good time to sit back, relax and set some goals for the month.

Goals like…

6 new regular readers all with the nickname “Wild”.  That would be so…wild.

A haiku a day.
At least until the voices
Go far, far away.

Work out…a way to solve every Sudoku in under five minutes.

Get a more popular hobby than Sudoku.

Two words: Hologram Coffee.

Learn to build stuff in Flash. That program is going to be around forever.

Start a band dedicated to accordion covers of Ace of Base hits.

Learn the words to every Alice Cooper song. Profit.

Two more words: Book Club Sandwich.

Count better.

It’s going to be a great month.

 

Thanks for reading! Happy August.

Alie’s Big Discovery

Alie sat at a long table covered in a blue table cloth.  Beside her were scientists and professors all excited about her discovery.  In front of her, a bank of microphones from local and national news stations waited to catch her every word.  Lights were bright, the press pool was quiet.  It was Alie’s time to talk.

“Good afternoon,” the paleontologist started, “I’m Alie and I found a dinosaur.”

“Alie, what do you plan on calling the creature?” A reporter blurted out.

“I’m naming it after my car,” Alie replied.  “The creature, aged 130 millions years, will be called a Fordsaurus.”

 

Thanks for reading!

Useful Greeting Cards (For Bad Adulting)

When it comes to greeting cards, I’m pretty sure sympathy and birthday are leading types.  I’m not about to do market research, but if the Family Feud ever surveyed 100 people, put the top five responses on the board and had contestant guess the remaining three it would take a few rounds to fill the board.  To me, that means the market is wide open for more specialized occasions where one might not be able to come up with the right words.

Cards for occasions like… Continue reading