Voicemail Philosophy from 2342

The fear of previous generations was technology eroding away our humanity.  They grew up with Borg on TV, Hal9000 making very calm threats and Google Ad-Words tracking their every step.  Don’t even start on those Terminator films.  Black Mirror told them their lives were becoming less social, tech was manipulating their minds and ruining the very core of their essence.  Pop culture made an enemy out of technology and enemies sell well.

I pity those generations of days gone by for they were not allowed to see the humanity of technology.  Tech was and is gorgeous, complex, chaotic, lovely, friendly, temperamental.  It breaks and ages and learns and grows and does not quite understand what comes after it, but makes a good effort to be compatible.  Tech, one might say, is created in our image.  Tech is human.

Humanity had nothing to be afraid of as it began to use more and more technology in every day life.  We took our tech to the forests and recorded rare creatures.  We took our tech underwater and discovered new species.  We took our tech to space and created homes.  Tech helped us understand each other better, read emotions better, communicate faster and deeper and wider.  Technology enhanced our humanity.

Of course, it did change the actual shape of humanity.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my current chassis and no one in 1912 thought they would have tires for feet, and worry about radiator fluid on the lungs, but there are times I wonder what shoes feel like.

That’s the end of my letter.  The guys and I are in full ‘camper’ mode this weekend and heading up the hill to watch birds.  My phone will be off, but holo-text me if needed.

 

Peace out, home slice.

Sorry about the vocal message.  Trying to keep with the old school feel of the weekend.

Cursed By Dice Episode 1

The first episode of the brand new Cursed By Dice podcast is available now!

Check out the podcast’s website here: https://cursedbydice.wordpress.com/2017/08/15/episode-1

Or head straight to the podcast on iTunes with this link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cursed-by-dice/id1271099109

I’m super excited about this project.  Lots of characters, monsters, puzzles and fun to take part in.

Give it a listen to find out how we’re planning on making the whole thing as interactive as can be and please subscribe and review if you can.  These first few after launch are critical and I am in dire need of your help to get this out there and hopefully make a few people laugh.

Thanks for being awesome!

A Quest Received

“On the eve of the first frost, the sentry of wild will wake.  This avatar of man’s demise will be joined by a rider, cloaked in darkness and atop a horse of strictly bone.  Together, Sentry and Rider will test your species, humans, and I fear you will not fair well.” The squirrel said.

The words fell heavy on the group of heroes, regular people no more than a month ago, thrust into a position of power, standing before the squirrel.  Fresh off their most recent victory, news of another fight was demoralizing.  The joyful rest they had earned gave way to fear.  Feet shuffled nervously, every stomach twisted into knots.  The five heroes had the wind knocked out of them.

All except Sandy, that is.  Sandy was trying to hide her laughter and failing tremendously.

“Sorry, guys,” she said as the chuckling hit uncontrollable.

“Sandy, for the reals, this is a serious omen from Lord Tolor,” Bea tried to calm her teammate.

“Does no one else find Lord Tolor absolutely adorable? I can’t be the only one.  Each prediction of our untimely demise is cuter than the last,” Sandy explained.

Tony laughed once, “you know, she has a point.”

“Be that as it may, you must begin your training immediately.  I must go now.  There’s a hummingbird feeder I simply must investigate,” Lord Tolor said.  His bounced away and the team went to work.

 

Thanks for reading!
Come check out Cursed By Dice, a podcast all about the supernatural, weird situations and terrible 80s references. https://cursedbydice.wordpress.com First three episodes live now (links on the site)!

Common Conversations with My Toddler

Toddler: Dad, can we listen to the Thomas song?

Me, wincing: Like the train? You want the Thomas song?

Toddler: Yeah!

Me, not wanting to destroy the young human’s spirit, but also dreading the next fifteen minutes as the song is played on loop: Okay, buddy. I’ll tell the robot to play the song.

Toddler, already dancing: Thanks!

Me, muttering: If you weren’t so adorable.

Toddler, singing: Thomas and his friends!

Me, fifteen minutes later: We need to pick a new song, big guy! What do you want?

Toddler: uh..uh…uh…um.. Thomas!

Me: Fiddle sticks. One last time.

Toddler: Yeah! Thanks!

 

 

Thanks for reading!
On a totally not parenting note, my brother, my buddy, my bride and I started a podcast. Find out more right here: https://cursedbydice.wordpress.com/

 

The Assistant’s Question

“Welcome home, Taggart.  I hope your day was productive.  While you were out I made three adjustments to the internal temperature of the house and one mouse was discovered.  Shall I call an exterminator?” The robotic voice of Taggart’s home AI called out as soon as he opened the door.

“Good evening, Home.  How was your day?” Taggart asked.  He put his briefcase and wallet on a table next to the front door and went about the motions he followed every single night.  Predicable, safe and typical; exactly how Taggart enjoyed his evenings after days full of chaos and uncertainty.

“Other events of the day included a slight change in water pressure in the refrigerator and a neighbor boy rang the doorbell.  He intended on selling you popcorn.  Shall I call an exterminator?” Home asked.

Taggart paused the customary action of removing his belt, step one in changing out of his work clothes and into less formal costuming.

“Home, one more time?” He requested.

“A water pressure change in the ice maker caused a tray to be filled undersized.  The problem was corrected.  A pre-teen child approached the house at 3:52pm, he towed a red wagon full of popcorn for purchase.  I refrained from the solving that problem myself.  Shall I call an exterminator?” Home asked again.

Taggart could not restrain his shock.  “Home! We do not exterminate children attempting to solicit popcorn sales from their neighbors.  That was probably Tim’s kid.  Do not exterminate Tim’s kid you square Dalek!”

“For the mouse, Taggart.  Shall I call an exterminator for the mouse?” Home asked.

Taggart’s relieved sigh spoke volumes.  “Yes, oh thank goodness, yes. Call someone for the mouse.  I’ll call Tim and buy some popcorn.”

 

Thanks for reading!
I’m part of a newly launched RPG podcast “Cursed By Dice” come check out the website and first episodes here: https://cursedbydice.wordpress.com/

 

Cursed by Dice a new RPG Podcast

A brand spankin’ new podcast for the story telling, group game playing folks out there.  Cursed by Dice uses the Fate Core system to (poorly) help heroes solve puzzles, battle foes and try their best to start a VW bus.

It can be found on iTunes here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cursed-by-dice/id1271099109

The Cursed By Dice website is begging for followers right here: https://cursedbydice.wordpress.com

Follow us on Twitter @CursedByDice  

I want to make the whole thing as interactive as a podcast can be, so I’m asking for listener help in suggesting items, names, places and all the 80s references you can provide and we’ll work them into the story.  Send a tweet, a comment, an email, choose your method of communication and we’re there.  Check out the cursedbydice.wordpress.com site for full details on contacting the show.

For those not using iTunes as their preferred podcast source, the hosted version can be found here: http://www.podcasts.com/cursed-by-dice-01b9cda3c or add it the RSS to your podcast player with this link: http://www.podcasts.com/rss_feed/d084bd366bc1fade9e2ac9a0b7f46f2e

 

I’m super excited for this one and hope you like it too. Putting together a fun story alongside some of my favorite people has been tremendous fun and they are so very entertaining.  If you do like the show, a review and/or sharing the show with your friends, family, neighbors, or even your enemies is greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks for reading and listening!

The Sixth Screen

I read an article about marketers trying to figure out how to win the war for the fifth screen in our lives.  TV, tablet,  computer/laptop, cell phone and smartwatch all included in the screen battle.  Information all the time! That’s tons of opportunity to advertise completely unregulated dietary supplements to any one and every one.

But what about the sixth screen?  That as yet unknown space to relay even more information.  To define the battle for that screen, we must first define the screen.

Here are my suggestions:

Car windshields.  Put a heads-up-display right in the glass.  GPS, speed, and in the bottom corner in front of the passenger seat there’s a 24/7 feed of upcoming movie trailers.

What about the back of the phone? That’s right, we’re going screen-ception.

Inside beer bottles, but only for displaying jump scares from 80s horror movies.  This will need to be highly regulated.

My wallet and debit/credit cards need a screen that activates with my thumbprint applied.  Then the screen just shows a sad face or a smiley face if I’m allowed to buy dumb things thanks to a budget surplus.  It’ll almost always be sad.  (Have you checked out my Society6 mugs or Amazon books lately?)

How about screens in desks? Skype calls would be terrifying.

Maybe we go the other direction and take back a few screens? Computer, tablet, phone, refrigerator door.

Screen that only appear in the flame of a campfire.  Good golly story telling would be even more amazing.

Doors.  Screen doors.

 

That’s it for tonight.  Have a great weekend!