Rico and the Long Awaited Exciting Afternoon

Chores. Rico hated chores.  Errand running, groceries, laundry; the routine tasks that form the very foundation of the society he so enjoyed otherwise.  He hated them.  Every outing for electrical tape, every time he cleaned out the cat’s litter box, he wished for something exciting to happen.  Anything to make the time move a little faster.

Returning from a particularly bland run to the barber, he found himself standing at the entry way of his apartment complex checking every pocket on his person for keys.

“Drat,” Rico muttered as he patted down his pants and jacket.

“Rico!” Called the familiar voice of his neighbor, Jon.  “Rico, wait up.”

The relief Rico felt in having something out of the ordinary happen, finally, was delightful.  He ran a hand through his freshly cut hair and forgot for just a moment about his key problem.

“Jon! How are things, man?” Rico asked.  He extended a hand in anticipation of a high five.

Jon followed form, extending his hand as well, but Rico noticed something odd.

“What’s that in your ha-” Rico said.

His words were cut short by a blast of purple spray paint from Jon’s previously unknown object.  Three more sprays followed.

“Jon! What the heck, man?” Rico was furious.

“This Facebook post told me to tag my friends!” Jon said.

“Aw. Jon, you consider us friends? That’s awesome, buddy. Thanks.” Rico was oddly touched, if looking like a tropical fish.

“Well, Facebook friends anyway,” Jon clarified.

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People on the Highway

With the book promotion (free book right here!) going on, I thought perhaps now is time to get back into the series that started it all.  Ah, nostalgia.

I took a new job about six months ago.  No longer working from home, I have taken to a regular commute.  I’m only on the road for thirty to forty minutes in the morning, but rejoining the commuter lifestyle has been incredibly odd.  That is in part because I am on the road at 5:00 in the morning.

5am is a totally different beast than 7am.

Most notably, car accidents are different at 5am.

Today’s tale: Dude, where’s my bumper? Continue reading

A Phone Call Home

“Yeah, mom, things are going pretty well so far.  I mean, only a month in, but this new town is really nice,” Iain told his mother.  It was their first phone call since he left home for a shot at fortune in the big city.

“I’ve met a fun bunch of people too,” he continued, “we’re hanging out, like, nearly every night.  When we’re not chillaxin’ they are blowing up my twitter feed and their Snapchats are hilarious.”  He regretted the words.

“Snapchat? Well, it’s…you know what, nevermind.  It’s like emailing pictures.  They email me fun pictures.”  Honestly, he wasn’t even sure what Snapchat was, but he did not want to be left behind the social media curve.

“What else do we do? Well, some nights we try to meet other new people and bring them into our friend group.”

His mother gave a very polite, ‘that’s nice’ and asked what else they did in the big city.

“We’re in a pretty deep book club discussion right now.  Trying to sort out if the alien overlord Tornix was being malevolent in creating woodland sprites is the topic this week.”

There was an odd silence on his mother’s end of the call.

“But we also hone our martial arts skills and occasionally I drive a few of the guys around town and they help truck drivers make deliveries,” Iain said over the quiet.

“Well, I don’t know mom.  They take over for the truck driver, who gets some exercise by walking home, and they take the truck to where it needs to be,” he explained to his mom.  She was growing ever more curious about a month in the city.

“I have been playing, yeah.  The Tornix center has an open mic night and I have an standing time slot Wednesday nights.  The others practice their kung-fu skills as Master Todd walks the crowd.  Last week I am pretty sure Master Todd was nodding along to my song, so that was a good gig.”

“I don’t think I need to play anywhere else, the Tornix center has a big enough crowd.”

“What? No.  No I have not accidentally joined a cult that will use karate and truck robberies to take over the city.  I found a bunch of like minded friends who use kung-fu to center themselves and then steal….oh man! I accidentally joined a cult.”

“Yeah, if you could just wire the money I will be on the next bus home.  Thanks, mom.”

 

 

And that is a conversation that needed to happen more often in the original TMNT movies.

Thanks for reading!

Jordan Caters

Rain poured down in sheets; heavy and loud as it hit building and road. Wind whipped through the aspen trees outside the country club, but even in the violence the leaves rattled with a sound of serenity not found often enough.

An early autumn wedding reception was in full swing inside. Center pieces were being picked apart by bored children, the bartender was opening the forth bottle of vodka and tenth two-liter of Coke of the evening, the DJ was playing “Uptown Funk” for what felt like the ninth time. Jordan stood outside, under an awning behind the kitchen, taking an all too soothing cigarette break. Continue reading

Well, in that Highly Unlikely Situation…

Well, In that highly unlikely situation

 

Today’s situation: Driving a country road, mid day, fields of wild grass to your left and right, you drive by what you are fairly certain is a moose being ridden by a gremlin.

Character elements: Pretty sure you forgot to brush your teeth this morning, there’s a book about Benjamin Franklin in your passenger seat, you once spent thirty minutes reading a Wikipedia article on nickels.

Well, in that highly unlikely situation… Continue reading

Mid-Week Pitch: Download My Book!

Roan's

Click here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0115QNDTM You’ll be happy with your decision.

Roan’s Demon is free through Friday to help fill up your favorite ebook reader.    A family feud no one remembers the source of brings out the worst in the drunken Bernard Eastman, who finds an easy target in Roan Fletcher.  Roan takes a fist to the nose and things get whacky from there.  Read the short horror story about family, history, one angry demon and a plenty of zombies totally free if you download it by Friday.

New Book!

Roan's

 

The horror story “The Fletcher Family Problem” finally got a better title.  I hope its a better title anyway.

Either way, the story has been turned into an ebook and is now available on Amazon right here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0115QNDTM

It will be free all next week so don’t download it until Monday if you are interested.  Kindle Unlimited users will have always free access to the material.  Of course you can read it’s unedited version right here on the blog too, but who doesn’t love a quick read on their Kindle App?

What is the book about?

“Roan’s Demon” is like Hatfields and McCoys with curses and demons and a zombie or two might show up. A long standing family feud takes its toll on a small town when two sons of the clans get into a bar fight.  Soon, the sky turns blood red and buildings fall.  Roan must work fast to bring and end to the curse, before the curse ends him.