People on the Highway

I’m trying out a new path home from work.  As a semi-professional liar storyteller person, the new route is amazing.  It is peak Colorado front range.  I see cattle pastures, oil derricks, corn fields, industrial concrete recycling, small town schools, manufacturing plants that smell funny (likely because they are next to giant giant mounds of fresh fertilizer, but that is beside the point).  I see a new story setting every five minutes.  I am very much enjoying the new path.  Another thing it has going for it; very few other people on the road.

Consisting mostly of side roads, I don’t have to deal with too many Honda sedans with a texting driver at the wheel.  The standard situation for Honda sedans in Colorado at least.

Today, I had company on the commute and this is her story.

Today’s tale: Sunny

Continue reading

Cassius and the Barn

The night had turned grim.  Cassius, bucked by his horse, was lost in a land far from home.  He knew but two things; first, the approaching storm brought with it a dire time for any caught outside. Second, the dot on the horizon appeared to be a barn.

He ran with all the speed he could muster and crashed through what remained of the barn door moments before hail began to fall from the sky.

“What fortune,” Cassius said, panting against the doorway. Continue reading

Claude Knows the Future

“Ladies and gentlemen, I give you…the future,” Claude removed a small napkin to reveal a different container.  The audience was unimpressed.

“What are we looking at here, Claude?” Asked the restaurant’s owner, stumped by the shiny metal container on the table.

“The future is chrome?” The head waiter asked.

“The future, my friends, is packaging!” Claude removed the lid of the shiny metal container with grand flourish.

“Now the future is a nondescript brown paper box?” The head chef asked.

“So it would appear,” Claude said, teasingly, “but, behold!” With another dramatic motion, the box was opened.

“Another package?” The owner questioned.

“I don’t want to eat a Russian nesting doll for brunch.” The waiter complained.

“I don’t want to fill those at brunch.” The chef guffawed.

“But friends, there is but one more surprise.  Open that final, wee, envelope,” Claude prompted with a hint of mystery in his voice.

The owner reached out to the envelope in the tiny box, atop the shiny tray that was once beneath a dark red cloth.  The paper was unfolded with care and quickly read over.

“This is a dumb way to resign, Claude.” The owner said.  The piece of paper was tossed to the table in disgust.

“Later, dummies!” Claude said.  He threw his apron on top of the paper and walked away.

 

 

Thanks for reading!

Come check out Lunch Hour Characters for more…well, more weird, but fun weird.

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Marty Made It

“Ah, it ain’t that bad,” Dan joked.  He proceeded to cough blood.  “At least you stopped the zombies. You saved us all.”

“It’s just you and me, Dan. We’re all that’s left,” Marty said.

Dan lay propped against a ram shackle chicken coop, knowing his final moments were upon him.  Marty knelt, weeping and shaking.

“Wait, wait. Seriously?” Dan asked.  He shimmied himself to be more upright and looked Marty right in the eyes.  “You’re going to be the sole survivor of this? Boy howdy, that’s terrible luck.”

“What?” Marty was confused. Continue reading

Rico and the Long Awaited Exciting Afternoon

Chores. Rico hated chores.  Errand running, groceries, laundry; the routine tasks that form the very foundation of the society he so enjoyed otherwise.  He hated them.  Every outing for electrical tape, every time he cleaned out the cat’s litter box, he wished for something exciting to happen.  Anything to make the time move a little faster.

Returning from a particularly bland run to the barber, he found himself standing at the entry way of his apartment complex checking every pocket on his person for keys.

“Drat,” Rico muttered as he patted down his pants and jacket.

“Rico!” Called the familiar voice of his neighbor, Jon.  “Rico, wait up.”

The relief Rico felt in having something out of the ordinary happen, finally, was delightful.  He ran a hand through his freshly cut hair and forgot for just a moment about his key problem.

“Jon! How are things, man?” Rico asked.  He extended a hand in anticipation of a high five.

Jon followed form, extending his hand as well, but Rico noticed something odd.

“What’s that in your ha-” Rico said.

His words were cut short by a blast of purple spray paint from Jon’s previously unknown object.  Three more sprays followed.

“Jon! What the heck, man?” Rico was furious.

“This Facebook post told me to tag my friends!” Jon said.

“Aw. Jon, you consider us friends? That’s awesome, buddy. Thanks.” Rico was oddly touched, if looking like a tropical fish.

“Well, Facebook friends anyway,” Jon clarified.

Sunset Musings

And now….

Sunset Musings and Considerations.

Volume 1.

*ahem*

People have been cut by smooth jazz CDs.

Thank you.

Trust Fall

“Jenkins!” Mr. Hopper shouted.

With a single word, Jenkins knew the command.  He stepped away from his coworkers and stepped to within arms’ reach of their increasingly grumpy boss.

“For this team building exercise, which I remind you is mandated by corporate and will only take a full six hours of productivity away from our team, you will trust me to catch you as you fall to the earth,” Mr. Hopper told Jenkins and the crowd.

Jenkins did not trust Mr. Hopper.  Mostly due to the mischievous smirk that crawled over Hopper’s face when he said, “as you fall to the earth.”

“Sir, does this have to happen right here? Can we move even ten feet that way?” Jenkins requested, pointing away from the pit immediately behind his boss.

“This is why they call it a trust fall, Jenkins.  Trust me, my leadership, and you have nothing to fear,” Hopper held his arms out to signal the fall would happen. Now.

Jenkins winced and readied to fall dozens of feet into a former quarry now over run, at the bottom at least, by grasses and plague carrying mice.

He was not disappointed.

In the distance he could hear Hopper describing the next team building activity.

“Crew, our goal is to work together to get that accountant free.  Who’s with me?”