Transcript of First Television Interview of Beloved Superhero Squeak.
Squeak: I have to say, while this microphone is strapped to parts of me even my, uh, ‘special partners’ [Laughter] don’t touch, this is the most surreal moment of my life.
Rebecca Carver, Interviewer: [Laughter] Is that because you are the subject of people’s attention and this is the first step to interviews becoming commonplace or because Rocco’s hands are strangely cold?
Squeak: The Rocco part. Thanks, Rocco! [Laughter]
RC: First question, first real question anyway, which of your creations has been your favorite?
Squeak: Mouse. For the simple purpose of it matches my name so well. But, you know, this question has come up before when I do mock interviews in my own head following a battle with a big bad. [Laughter]
RC: Your powers have certainly helped you face down a fair shake of evil doers.
Squeak: Here’s the thing about using my powers of bringing balloon animals to life in order to fight the criminal underworld that plagues this city, the real work is not done by me. The real work is done by Mouse and Bad Hat, by Snake and Hot Dog, by Sword and Puppy and Horse and Framed House and Big Ol’ Circle. I just give them life. And commands to viciously maul bank robbers.
RC: That’s very noble of you, Squeak, but none of it happens without you and your ability to literally breathe life into these crime stoppers, our city would be a much different place.
Squeak: Wanna know something funny?
Squeak: My powers don’t work on water balloons.
RC: Really? Why do you think that is?
Squeak: I suspect they are pure evil.
RC: Having been in water balloon fights, I agree.
Squeak: One moment, Rebecca, sorry. My crime fighter flashy thing is doing its flashy thing. A message will come through in a moment. The police chief gave this to me. Kinda’ like one of those “your table is ready” buzzers at Chili’s, but this is a call to justice, not cheese sticks. Here we go.
Squeak: I must run. There’s trouble downtown.
RC: Rocco, get the mic off quick!
Squeak: [Laughter] Thank you, Rocco.
RC: Good luck, Squeak.
Thanks for reading!