Walter’s Late Night

“Walter! Get up and going, man!” Rafi said.

Walter did not move.  He grumbled and ignored his friend’s pleas.

“Dude, we’ve got stuff to do today!” Rafi pushed.

Walter responded with yet another grumble at first, but much to his surprise, found himself capable of speech as well.  “Rafi, buddy, I was up until 1:00am on Friday,” Walter explained.

“It’s Sunday morning,” Rafi pointed out.

“Here’s the thing, kiddo;  1:00am for old folk like me is equivalent to being awake for a week straight.  It will be Tuesday before I feel like myself again.”  Walter tried with all his might to stand up, but failed.

“Being old sounds awful.” Rafi said.

“It isn’t that bad.  The trade off is ice cream breakfasts and TV binge watching.”  Walter said, finally standing up.  His joints popped and cracked and he grumbled some more.  “It’s a worthwhile trade off, young one, really.”

Waylan Used to be Cool

On Saturday, Waylan and the family piled into their car and made a stop at the local home improvement store.  There was a project to be done!  The project required cement; bags and bags of ‘just add water’ cement.  Four bags, 50 pounds each, lifted from the floor to a flat bed cart.  Up six inches, over 12.  The lifting should not have been a problem. It was.

Waylan wrenched his back after picking up the third bag.   Continue reading

Phone Call Attire

Walter straightened his tie.

“What are you up to, Wally?” Asked his startled wife, Janet.

“I’m adulting today,” replied Walter.  Cell phone in one hand, he rummaged through his wallet looking for the phone number he was to call.

“You wear a tie when adulting?”

“I’ve heard this is proper attire for such grownup endeavors.”  Walter found the number tucked in his wallet between a gum wrapper and a Lowe’s card.

“Okay, but why are you only wearing a tie?” Janet questioned.

“Ah, yes, hello.  One doctor office appointment please !” Walter said, smiling and giving a ‘thumbs up’ to Janet.



Thanks for reading!

Deleted ending: “You’re 52, Walt.”

I Should Not Help You Move

If given the opportunity to put creepy eyes under a stairwell, that opportunity must be taken. That alone is not why I should not help you move though. No, I need steer clear of helping you move because I bring kids along. And kids say some wildly inappropriate things.   Continue reading