Dane Leaves a Review

“Click to review the app,” Dane read the pop-up that covered his screen, “Sure. Why not?”

He pressed the button and his cherished app was replaced with a screen featuring more survey questions than he knew what to do with.

“Well, this doesn’t look right,” he muttered.  He paid himself no attention though and began to review the app for the sake of a bonus character.

“You stand at a railway watching a trolley car.  On the track lay five people. You stand next to a switch,” Dane slapped the arm of the couch. “Dang trolley car problem is inescapable!”

Alie’s Big Discovery

Alie sat at a long table covered in a blue table cloth.  Beside her were scientists and professors all excited about her discovery.  In front of her, a bank of microphones from local and national news stations waited to catch her every word.  Lights were bright, the press pool was quiet.  It was Alie’s time to talk.

“Good afternoon,” the paleontologist started, “I’m Alie and I found a dinosaur.”

“Alie, what do you plan on calling the creature?” A reporter blurted out.

“I’m naming it after my car,” Alie replied.  “The creature, aged 130 millions years, will be called a Fordsaurus.”

 

Thanks for reading!

Maurice’s Speech

“Oh, this is not going well,” Maurice mumbled.  His big speech on corporate synergy and streamlined manufacturing practices was bombing.  Bombing efficiently, but bombing nonetheless.

“Furthermore,” he said into the microphone, trying to regain his footing in a very literal sense.  He was leaning against the lectern and nearly fell.  “My research is showing a 10% improvement in production quality.”

He paused, realizing the room was full of at least 1000 men and women ‘business serious’ dress.   He gulped and continued.

“A 10% improvement in production quality thanks to this one simple trick!!”

Finally, after 15 minutes of failure, he click-baited the audience’s interest.

Wilson Closes the Shop

Night had fallen on Agate Street and all that remained was one lonely shop keep in a tiny store.

A broom was pushed over a dirty stone floor and young Wilson Gregor began to close his store for the day. “Whistling a song, whistling a song,” the clerk sang, as he could not whistle to save his life.

Suddenly, bells hanging at the store’s entry rang.

“I need a health potion! Something magical! Help!” A stranger shouted, running inside.

Wilson shook his head, “For the last time, this is a Radioshack.  The town only looks like a video game village.”

Bob and the Fallen Tree

 

“You have a problem, Bob.” Brad said.

The damage was extensive.  Bob covered his eyes with his hands in shame.  Brad and Betty reviewed the scene wondering what could be salvaged.

“I lost control,” Bob wept.

“Like you lost control after Baxter’s birthday bash? Or Barry’s barbecue?  I need you to schedule a meeting with Doctor Baldwin in the morning.  You keep doing this, we’re going to run out of trees.” Betty warned.

“We’re beavers! Beavers! We have to chomp trees! It’s in our blood!” Bob shouted.

“You’re chewing a tree right now, Bob. Stop it.” Brad was losing patience.

Jenkins Gets the Joke

“Knock knock.”  Old Man McClure said from behind his drink.

The joke portion of the dinner had begun.  Jenkins was displeased.

“Who’s there, sir?” Jenkins asked.  When Old Man McClure had had two or more drinks, the knock knock jokes began to make less sense.

“A livid duck.”

Jenkins had not heard this one before.  Perhaps his boss had learned a new one.

“A livid duck who?” Jenkins followed format.

“A livid duck who can’t open a door.”  Old Man McClure erupted in laughter.

“We have to finish these contracts before market open, sir.” Jenkins tried to refocus the night.

 

Marshall’s Change of Course

“Alrighty, change of plans, kiddos.  We’re playing inside!” Marshall informed his now quite disappointed children.

“Dad! Come on!” The two siblings pleaded in creepy unison.

“Now, now. It’ll be fun.  We can play board games, color, not be eaten by giant menacing birds, and eat junk food!” Marshall said.

“What was that third thing?” Louisa, the oldest asked.

“Coloring books!” Marshall replied, knowing full well he had slipped.

“I don’t think that was i-” Louisa began.

“No, no. It was. Really. Let’s just get away from the door, okay?” Marshall shooed the children away, keeping one eye on the bird.