Gerard the Ghost Takes a Temp Job

"So that's the house," Carl the Ghost said, finishing the tour. "Sweet digs," Gerard said, recalling the slang of his time. "Any questions about the gig?" Carl asked. The two floated through the kitchen and into the house's front entryway. "You haven't mentioned much about the living occupants. What do I do to scare them?" … Continue reading Gerard the Ghost Takes a Temp Job

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Get to Know Paint Bear

  Paint Bear sees the whole universe. The bear has obtained all knowledge. Paint Bear has accomplished absolutely nothing. Paint Bear will do your taxes. Paint Bear knows only suffering. Paint Bear ran a 5k once. Paint Bear steals from the rich. He pawns stolen goods for televisions. Paint Bear is better than this. Paint … Continue reading Get to Know Paint Bear

The Best Office Supply Store

Pencil cups. Staplers. Double-sided tape. You can get these at any run-of-the-mill office supply store. You can get them at any grocery store these days. Famous architect Yanz Oka purchased a desk chair from one of those run-of-the-mill places. The clerk said his suit was cute. The receipt wished him a great day and the … Continue reading The Best Office Supply Store

Haiku For Gravestones

If I must have a tombstone, one of these shall be carved into the face. Let it now be known That I was the evil clone You chose so poorly. It's confession time: I took every last donut. I feel no regret. You! Standing right there! You are standing on my butt! ha! ha! ha! … Continue reading Haiku For Gravestones

Lifehacks from a Magical Gnome

When I do talk to humans, they often ask me, first thing - like, maybe give a hello or something first?- they often ask me, “Gnome,” - rude, my name is Graythane of the Mudlark Fields - “Gnome, how do you balance it all?” At first, I didn’t have any idea what this question was … Continue reading Lifehacks from a Magical Gnome

Notes from the Last Days of Oakston

When we were children, we in the general sense here, there was no stopping us. The world that existed was made up of 20 streets, a Target that felt like it was as far away as Egypt and an old man across the street who loved their leaf blower a little too much.  We rode … Continue reading Notes from the Last Days of Oakston

Notes from the Last Days of Oakston

Every morning my mirror showed a different face.  Day after day a little more forehead, a little less hair. A little more gray in the beard. Deeper wrinkles around the eyes. The face was familiar, but the differences were pronounced more and more every morning. A life well lived was starting to show up in … Continue reading Notes from the Last Days of Oakston