Dear Adviceroy,
Now that the holiday season is upon us, I’m worried about saying something stupid at family gatherings. My dad’s side is pretty…well, pretty far away from my political views and my mom’s side is pretty into what I call, “getting sloppy drunk and poking bears”. I don’t want to add to the chaos and would prefer to keep my mouth full of pie and casseroles of varying quality. Any tips for surviving the holidays?
Thanks in advance,
Fearful in Florida.
Dear Fearful,
I know a thing or two about the interpersonal politics of large families. There’s a fine line to walk between showing everyone you are your own person and not be banished from the clan entirely. What I find works best is a distraction.
Do you own a duck? It doesn’t have to be a big duck. If you do not currently own a duck, find one. Many upscale pet stores will offer ducks for purchase at reasonable rates. Do not pursue a duck rental option. This time of year, many people simply have zero ducks to give. Supply simply cannot match demand.
Bring your duck to your family gatherings. When the conversation turns to politics or the value of Nickleback as art, shout, “it’s going down!” At this time, throw some feathers at the offending family members. I did this for a solid five years and now my family gatherings are as superficial as a college alumni networking event.
Best of luck.
The Adviceroy
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