Dear Future Past Me,
It just dawned on me/you/us that time travel notes probably arrive out of order depending on when these drawings, cave paintings, letters, telepathic postcards, or whatever are found and sent on their way. Funny stuff. I can move through the goo of space time with ease, but can’t deliver the mail on time.
Depending on when you find this, the whole Egypt thing totally worked out. We’re saved by a Senet player on a bender, take a chariot to the ancient equivalent of Vegas and…well, I let you find that one out for yourself. There’s a some real HST stuff for a moment.
This note is coming to you from the seat of power in the old Roman Empire! How cool is that? I am trying to only move at night as I’m gooey (time travel is slimy, you’ll remember) and have absolutely no idea what any one is saying. Not a clue. I heard one guy say, “victus es bonus” which I think I remember from a Gauntlet game.
There’s the thing no one tells you about time travel. The Whoniverse writes everything off as being traslated by the big blue box. Bill and Ted just ignores the communication barrier. You know what being stuck in a world that only speaks Latin sounds like? It sounds like everybody around you is reading an ingredients list from a bag of frozen chicken nuggets while sneezing. I honestly have no idea what to do while the time machine recharges.
Remember that trip we took to Venice during our gap year? Yeah. Venice doesn’t exist right now. Tomatoes won’t be utilized anywhere outside South America for a little over another thousand years still. History is fun and all, but you know what’s even better than history? Spaghetti.
I made us a friend for our Roman vacation. There is a weird gourd like vegetable that grows around here and I carved a face into it. Take credit for creating the jack-o-lantern if you want to. I know I will! Ha. I love that joke. I think I’ll name the gourd friend Gourdian of the Galaxy.
Good golly time travel is a lonely endeavor.
See you soon,
Thanks for reading!