Common Conversations with My Toddler

A conversation during a car ride:   Toddler; Daddy. Guess what. Me: What? Toddler: Chicken butt! maniacal laughter Me: Ah-haha! You got me, buddy. Toddler: Daddy. Guess what. Me: What? Toddler: Chicken underwear! maniacal laughter continues Me: Good one, big guy! Toddler: DADDY! GuESS WhAt! Me: Goodness, what buddy? Toddler: The chicken died. It's a … Continue reading Common Conversations with My Toddler

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Must Haves: Parenting Books

Parenthood is a weird, terrible, amusing, gross, lovely, heartening experience full of weird, terrible, amusing, gross, lovely, heartening moments.  There exists myriad tips, tricks, guides, pamphlets, websites, Morse code signals to help parents understand how to not mess up a little human while keeping their sanity, but the go-to is the parenting book. I've skimmed … Continue reading Must Haves: Parenting Books

Story For a Grumpy Child

Here's an actual bedtime story I told my firstborn this evening. He was particularly grumpy and opted to give ol' Dad here the silent treatment.  An improvement over the whiny, sigh, 'gawh!' treatment for sure, but no less annoying.  So I told him a story. He's a very patient child. Story For a Grumpy Child This … Continue reading Story For a Grumpy Child

Common Conversations with My Toddler

Me: Let's get some music going, eh? Alexa, play Murder By Death. Toddler: Alexa, play Murder by Poop! Toddler - laughs uncontrollably and oddly goose like Me, stifling laughter: Dude, that's not how we interact with the robot. Alexa: I cannot help you that. Toddler: Alexa, play poop playlist! - continues excited goose laughter - … Continue reading Common Conversations with My Toddler

Common Conversations with My Toddler

Me: Bed time, buddy.  Go put on your pajamas. Toddler: I want Fire Truck jams. Me: Sounds good.  I'll get them. Toddler, looking at Fire Truck pajamas: I don't want those. Me: You said you wanted Fire Truck jams. Toddler: I want snowman jams. Me: Here are those. Toddler: Not those snowman jams. Me: Are … Continue reading Common Conversations with My Toddler

Haiku for the Parents Out There

The children behave so incredibly well when with other adults 6 o'clock am This is sleeping in today I'm mostly okay. Every bandaid here Has a cartoon face on it Face covered in blood. Why is this sticky? Why is that thing sticky too? How does this happen? Remember that thing? You said you would … Continue reading Haiku for the Parents Out There