Must Haves: Amusement Parks

The big amusement park here in ol’ Colorado is Elitch Gardens. Elitch’s for the hip folks who prefer to discuss things efficiently and everyone knows what you’re referencing anyway.  I digress.  I’ve never really cared for the amusement park experience personally.  Roller Coaster Tycoon was my jam long ago.  Just like saying “my jam” was the world’s jam long ago.

The ideal amusement park is a tricky topic.  There’s no right. There’s no wrong.  There’s only amusing. That ever popular incomprehensible concept that drives humanity to the arts, to science, to discovery, to betterment.  These parks have some awesome responsibility.

There’s also the possibility of pizza and sticky concrete all over the place.  These parks have some weird possibilities.

Possibilities like…

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Must Haves: The City of the Future

The future.  It is fast approaching.  Let’s talk about things the city of the future must have.

List time!

Traffic lights.  Our cars may be self driving, but the experience of traffic jams and lights that just won’t change needs be an experience all generations experience.

Barber shops operated by actual people telling the robots what to do.  It’s the personal touch that matters most.

Greasy spoon diners with smell-o-vision e-menus.  Smell the food to make a choice! Watch a video of the meal before making a choice! Just sit at the booth and look at thin piece of electronic paper showing gifs of gorgeous, likely bad for you food.

Little Libraries that are just 3D printers on street corners used to print physical books.  I don’t know how the tech would work, but the future will!

Back to cars.  They’ll be self driving, but birds will inevitably still find ways to mess up windshields.  The City of the Future should get rid of birds.  Wait…no.

Public Wifi.  This should not be so difficult.

The city of the future must have billboards available in all languages thanks to wonders of augmented reality.  The greatest use for the tool will be seeing ads for stuff one actually cares about; no ads at all.  AR AdBlock right in your glasses.

Mass extinction is going to continue, but the city of the future will offer some crazy detailed holograms of long gone animals.  Like a zoo, but full of Force ghosts.  Wowsa, it’ll be creepy.

The city of the future will have Firefly Season two.

Taco Trucks will be able to teleport food to your home or office.

The Gig Economy will flourish in the city of the future.  So long as you’re a lawyer.

Self. Cleaning. Windows.  The city of the future will be oddly focused on windows.

Self. Tying. Ties.

Doors that blink green if you have everything you need before leaving the house, red if not.

Alien overlords.