Family Photoshop

“Who’s ready for a photo shoot!” The excited photographer asked the young family of three just entering the studio.

“I think so,” answered Rhonda, “but I don’t quite understand the color scheme you requested.”

“Oh the green?  Don’t worry a thing about that.  This will be a creative journey for you all,” explained the photographer, already putting the family in their positions.

“We are going to pose in front of a green screen? That’s neat!” Davis, holding little baby June, said with excitement as he took his spot.

The photographer took position behind the camera, “Okay, family, all smiles!”

The aperture flew into action. The photographer took to photoshop and a began typing.

“Just one photo?” Rhonda whispered to Davis, “that’s a bit odd, right?”

“And we’re set! Who’s ready to see your family photo?” The photographer asked, jumping from the computer, “behold!”

Davis, Rhonda and the baby exchanged glances before Davis broke the uncomfortable silence.  “That is awesome! I’m a lightning bolt!”

 

 

 

A Warning Ignored

“There’s something terrifying down in that canyon. My last venture resulted in the loss of three explorers.  A creature, born of fire and greed, based on how quickly it moved and devoured all it touched, lurks.  Waits. Watches.  I saw Predator and thought it was a comedy.  No longer shall I laugh, for I have seen the devil and it comes for more.  Do not travel into the mouth of the beast.  You will not return!”

“That is one talkative donkey, Janet,” the tourist said.

“He’s always been quite social.  You ready for your adventure?!” Janet readied the next tour.

 

The Interview

“What makes you interested in this particular program, Mr. Dover?” The admissions counselor asked of “Mr. Dover” much to his delight.  No one had ever called him mister before.

“Well, I really feel I was born for the mortuary trade.” Mr. Dover explained.

“Why is that?”

“My first name is Keel.”

“Your name is Keel Dover?”

“I’m quite upset with my parents.”

“You really were meant for this line of work. Welcome to the program!”

 

Status Update

Status update: Going to Hawaii!

Status update: Airport smells funny.

Status update: Boarding. Phones off.  See you all in twelve hours.

Status update: Landed! Flight only took three hours.

Status update: I’m in Columbus.

Status update: Turns out, it is spelled O A H U.

Status update: Heading home now.

The Worst Place

construction-site-1156567_640“Seriously?”

“I think so.”

“This is not cool.”

“Looks clear.  I’ll head up there.”

“This game of capture the flag is out of control.”

“Get ready to call 911, though.”

“Already on it.”

A Time for Letting Go

morocco-123962_640Axel sang, “but why, oh why, have you left me to die? Was it nature or nurture that lead me here, oh dear, why oh why is the answer unclear?”

He stood, abandoned on the desert, and sent his song to the fleeing car.

“Tell me what did I do today? Tell me how do I prove it’s okay? Tell me, my love and I’ll change everything your way.”

His cell phone buzzed.

“Signal out here, crystal clear!” He sang before looking at the text.

“It’s because of the Michael Bolton impression. I’m leaving you.”

“That stings,” he sang, decrescendo.

The Chart

business-meeting-no-background-2400px

“Quite a chart. What’s the data?”

  “Our Slack bot. When called, it DMs a picture of a pig in boots to the entire team.”

“How does that help?”

  “No idea, but we have 27,000 daily users.”

“I don’t understand what productivity means anymore.”

  “No one does, Char. No one does.”

Image via GDJ