Proposals by Profession

How different professions propose marriage. I suppose: Plumber: Take the plunge with me! Baker: Let's get cookin' Drug dealer: Let's get cookin' Doctor: I'm giving you a prescription... for life long partnership. Barber - Let's cut to the chase and marry! Dog trainer: *offers a treat* Marry me? Salesperson: You're the deal of a lifetime! … Continue reading Proposals by Profession


Pleading With a Young Bird

Bird, You're here on my window sill with no intention of flying away, so I thought now would be a good time to talk about this big world you've recently joined. One day you're going to fly high up into the tree towering above this house.  There's a cement slab to the north, it too is under … Continue reading Pleading With a Young Bird

Mark and the Voice in the Cemetery

It was a rite of passage in their small town, and as with so many small town traditions, no one knew why it was required.  No one questioned it either. "Just go in, say 'Dead Derrick' three times and touch a headstone," said the older student from behind the driver's wheel.  The others in the … Continue reading Mark and the Voice in the Cemetery

The Fatal Flaw of Candle Shopping

"Ashes, Ashes we all Fall Harvest," Lilly read the label of the candle in a Ball jar, "bit dark, but it smells nice." "Hey, come check this one out, 'In the cold November Rain'," Ivan called over, "it smells like rain and wet top hat!" "This place has some neat options; Cumin feel the noise,  Why is Cucumber on … Continue reading The Fatal Flaw of Candle Shopping

The Zoo Trip

"Maybe we're the ones in cages," the man wearing socks and sandals muttered as he walked by a group of strangers. "People are the most dangerous animals here," he said as he passed another group. His cargo shorts swayed with each step and his humorous graphic tee-shirt went largely unappreciated. "He's pointing at random areas … Continue reading The Zoo Trip

More Accurate Parenting Sayings

This time around let's correct some motivational parenting sayings: My alarm clock smiles and screams to wake me up and I often have to clean feces off it. Training the mind without training the heart is no way to raise a child.  Unless you want to raise an economist.  Then go right ahead and skip teaching … Continue reading More Accurate Parenting Sayings

Movies Trailers (For Movies Based on Benjamin Franklin Quotes)

(Teens, around a camp fire, lightning bugs zipping about, crickets chirping, surrounded by tall trees with only the glow of the flame to light the woods) "Did you guys hear about the accountant that went on a murder spree?" "That's just an urban legend, Kenny, stop trying to scare us" "Wait, did you guys hear … Continue reading Movies Trailers (For Movies Based on Benjamin Franklin Quotes)