Working Titles

My new piece is in need of a title. Here are some I'm throwing around. Cary Elwes needs to be Lex Luther. What does "spoiler alert" mean to a NASCAR driver? I'd stick with my day job but I'm bad at that too. Whipping Cream makes a mess. The Office was more fulfilling, but Parks … Continue reading Working Titles

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Additional Corrections to Previous Content

The following points are to clarify and correct previous inaccuracies in content posted to this site:   3DPrinted business cards are annoying. This stands in contrast to the original statement that they are “dope”. Do not under any circumstance try to capture a penguin. They are litigious. Sports reporters are not defeated by garlic. The … Continue reading Additional Corrections to Previous Content

Ajax Bluemane was a Runner

Ajax Bluemane spent his whole life running. In primary school, he ran from homework and girls. In middle school, he ran (rather awkwardly) from homework and girls. In high school, he ran from the concept of adulthood, the thought of moving out, homework and girls. He spent college running from responsibility, never declaring a major, … Continue reading Ajax Bluemane was a Runner

From the Archives: The Coffee Pot

I started the night writing a dumb joke about parking a car. Now I'm two-thousand words into something wildly different. It's very exciting! However, it is far from ready for that publish button and now I'm in that stressful decision point of what do I do? Focus on finishing the new stuff and sacrifice my … Continue reading From the Archives: The Coffee Pot

Warren Finds a Tomb

"The bones are an incredible find. The ceremony is clearly seen here. The walls of the tomb are carved to tell a story of the person buried forever within the confines of this little room.  We thought this sort of thing did not happen until 500 years after this tomb is thought to have been … Continue reading Warren Finds a Tomb

Low Hopper is Pretty Tired of Whatever This Is

Low Hopper spent a six month period seeing a doctor about constant bad luck.  Thankfully, Low wrote a song about it. Season Eight by Low Hopper I just ate a bug And now I'm so sad T'was just a grub Sure Tasted bad Oh I don't know why This guy Keeps staring at me. That's … Continue reading Low Hopper is Pretty Tired of Whatever This Is

Movie Trailers – RomComs Re-imagined

Setting - couple stands face to face in a courtyard on a sunny day. Prison officials look on. Romeo: It's only three years. I have like 90 of those. I can give a few to the family and the Illinois department of corrections. This Fall, see a love story that sees through the bars. See … Continue reading Movie Trailers – RomComs Re-imagined