Patch Notes

Your computer is up-to-date! Congratulations! Some notes on what has changed: Load times are better than load times found at grocery store point-of-sale machines You have a parachute with you at all times now. Don't ask how. Saying, "computer" will result in a robotic voice responding to you with launch codes. For what? Don't ask. … Continue reading Patch Notes

Advertisements

Found Notes

The general manager and the head of human resources stood side by side with sour looks on their faces. The whole staff was packed into the warehouse. No one was happy about it. "We keep finding strange notes in the breakrooms.  If you are the one responsible, please stop," the Director of HR said. There … Continue reading Found Notes

Additional Corrections to Previous Content

The following points are to clarify and correct previous inaccuracies in content posted to this site:   3DPrinted business cards are annoying. This stands in contrast to the original statement that they are “dope”. Do not under any circumstance try to capture a penguin. They are litigious. Sports reporters are not defeated by garlic. The … Continue reading Additional Corrections to Previous Content

Ajax Bluemane was a Runner

Ajax Bluemane spent his whole life running. In primary school, he ran from homework and girls. In middle school, he ran (rather awkwardly) from homework and girls. In high school, he ran from the concept of adulthood, the thought of moving out, homework and girls. He spent college running from responsibility, never declaring a major, … Continue reading Ajax Bluemane was a Runner

From the Archives: The Coffee Pot

I started the night writing a dumb joke about parking a car. Now I'm two-thousand words into something wildly different. It's very exciting! However, it is far from ready for that publish button and now I'm in that stressful decision point of what do I do? Focus on finishing the new stuff and sacrifice my … Continue reading From the Archives: The Coffee Pot

Warren Finds a Tomb

"The bones are an incredible find. The ceremony is clearly seen here. The walls of the tomb are carved to tell a story of the person buried forever within the confines of this little room.  We thought this sort of thing did not happen until 500 years after this tomb is thought to have been … Continue reading Warren Finds a Tomb