Helpful

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via Pixabay

“Mack, go help that guy.”

“He looks fine, Pearl.  There’s no need to get involved.”

“How is he fine?”

“Well, he’s not screaming in agony, is he?”

“That should be more alarming.  Look at all this ice.  Poor fella could have bonked his head.”

“Look around, no one else is concerned.”

“Mack. Go help him.”

“Pearl, I’m telling you, Farmer John is fine.  Pearl, don’t give me that look.”

“You haven’t seen a look yet. Go help that poor man before that annoying dog tries to eat his legs.”

“Fine,. I’ll go ‘ba’ at him for a moment.”

“Thank you.”

Just Pictures

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via Pixabay

“Pictures.  They’re just pictures.  You know what people can do with Photoshop these days? Come on. No one will believe they’re real.”

“Reality is constructed, built upon that which people see.  If it can be seen, it can be believed.  Right now, even the possibility that something can be seen builds reality for some.”

“Dave, come on, man. Look, look, I’ll delete the files.”

“You know what people can do with cloud storage these days?”

“Nah, no, you don’t have to worry about that.”

“You saw too much, Marcus.”

“Dave!”

“I am sorry for this. You were a good photographer.”

The Chart

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“Quite a chart. What’s the data?”

  “Our Slack bot. When called, it DMs a picture of a pig in boots to the entire team.”

“How does that help?”

  “No idea, but we have 27,000 daily users.”

“I don’t understand what productivity means anymore.”

  “No one does, Char. No one does.”

Image via GDJ

Sibling Bonds

By golly am I not focusing tonight.  Here’s an oldie, but a goodie.  I have stopped hearing from insurance companies since the original posting last year.  Blogging changes lives.

Here we go…..

“Again?” She spoke through her disgust.

“They had a dog.  Did not plan on the dog.  Can I come in?” He held a bleeding arm and tried not to drip on the carpet.

With a shrug, she welcomed him into her home.

“You can’t keep coming here when these go bad,” she scolded. Continue reading

The Continuing Dinner Party Calamities of Deck and Amy

“Shed no tears for the dead, for they have taken their final steps.  Weep not for their loss, for we learn from the absence.  Once we uncover their treasures, we will understand all they have left for us,” the man in a pith helmet said as he took yet another swing with his pick-ax.

“That’s well and good, but,” Amy started.

“We are on the cusp of greatness! This is our hour!” The pithy man shouted as the ax collided with its target.

“But that’s not,” Deck said, cringing as the ax hit.

“This map,” the adventurer said, waving a torn up bit of old parchment paper in the faces of Amy and Deck, “this map was written by the Freemasons and guides us to a treasure underneath this very spot!” The adventurer was shaking with excitement.

Ted, watching from the dinner table, sipped his wine and chimed in, “That’s National Treasure, right? We’re watching a Nic Cage classic unfold?” Continue reading

It Has to Be Outrageous

About 12:30 this morning, my toddler decides he is awake.  He had spent most of the previous day napping and barely touched his dinner, so his sudden alertness was not exactly unexpected.  Far from pleasant,but not unexpected.  I spent a good half hour trying to get him back to sleep.  We bounced around, we tried new pacifiers, white noise was employed; everything I could think of for 12:30am.  He finally decided he did not have to be constantly held, so I placed him back into the crib and tried to sneak out.  That was not part of his plan.  An adult needed to be in the room or he was going to scream.  We’re staying with my in-laws this week, so the new surroundings probably hurt his sense of safety or some sort of kid-psych term like that.  So I laid by bed.

As I laid by the bed, trying not fall asleep on the floor else I would certainly be stepped on by the four year old sleeping in the same room, I tried to keep my mind busy.  I don’t think a good idea at 12:30am is really possible in my case, so I could not stop thinking about how friggin’ expensive insurance must be in a town populated by super-heroes and villains.  It has to be outrageous.

All day long I’ve been bugged by the topic.  I’ve been with two little kiddos that can not really add anything to the discussion though.  They are happy to play with caped hero toys, but there’s no consideration for the business owners or home owners/renters in the affected area.

Here’s a sleep deprived short story/dialogue on the subject. Continue reading

Go Go Bad Guy

“It just bugs me sometimes, I don’t know,” First Pylon of the Invincible Mind, Roderick Stone said as he marched alongside his number two, Second Pylon of the Invincible Mind, Maynard Fox.

“I don’t see the problem.  Some rank titles just get longer than others,” Maynard replied.

“Yeah, but the other guys don’t have to worry about rank titles.  They’re just ‘the blue guy’ and ‘the red guy’, I think I heard a real first name last time one of their squads came in here,” Roderick said.

Maynard practiced a high kick as they continued their route.

“The titles would not bug me so much if we could skip them at dinner.  But no, policy states that I have to thank Proud Servant of the Invincible Mind Betty Stout whenever I take an extra biscuit.  It is just a weird policy,” Roderick continued.

“You ever think about where these policies come from?” Maynard say.  He followed with a ‘hi-yah’ and punched the air.

“Right? Not once have I seen an OSHA flyer or been sent a review of the 401k package.  You ever been to a break room without a poster about how to submit an anonymous ethics violation?  I knew this gig was going to be different, but there are rules to follow, you know?” Roderick was full of questions. Continue reading