The Interview

“What makes you interested in this particular program, Mr. Dover?” The admissions counselor asked of “Mr. Dover” much to his delight.  No one had ever called him mister before.

“Well, I really feel I was born for the mortuary trade.” Mr. Dover explained.

“Why is that?”

“My first name is Keel.”

“Your name is Keel Dover?”

“I’m quite upset with my parents.”

“You really were meant for this line of work. Welcome to the program!”

 

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The Worst Place

construction-site-1156567_640“Seriously?”

“I think so.”

“This is not cool.”

“Looks clear.  I’ll head up there.”

“This game of capture the flag is out of control.”

“Get ready to call 911, though.”

“Already on it.”

Helpful

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via Pixabay

“Mack, go help that guy.”

“He looks fine, Pearl.  There’s no need to get involved.”

“How is he fine?”

“Well, he’s not screaming in agony, is he?”

“That should be more alarming.  Look at all this ice.  Poor fella could have bonked his head.”

“Look around, no one else is concerned.”

“Mack. Go help him.”

“Pearl, I’m telling you, Farmer John is fine.  Pearl, don’t give me that look.”

“You haven’t seen a look yet. Go help that poor man before that annoying dog tries to eat his legs.”

“Fine,. I’ll go ‘ba’ at him for a moment.”

“Thank you.”

Just Pictures

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via Pixabay

“Pictures.  They’re just pictures.  You know what people can do with Photoshop these days? Come on. No one will believe they’re real.”

“Reality is constructed, built upon that which people see.  If it can be seen, it can be believed.  Right now, even the possibility that something can be seen builds reality for some.”

“Dave, come on, man. Look, look, I’ll delete the files.”

“You know what people can do with cloud storage these days?”

“Nah, no, you don’t have to worry about that.”

“You saw too much, Marcus.”

“Dave!”

“I am sorry for this. You were a good photographer.”

The Chart

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“Quite a chart. What’s the data?”

  “Our Slack bot. When called, it DMs a picture of a pig in boots to the entire team.”

“How does that help?”

  “No idea, but we have 27,000 daily users.”

“I don’t understand what productivity means anymore.”

  “No one does, Char. No one does.”

Image via GDJ

Sibling Bonds

By golly am I not focusing tonight.  Here’s an oldie, but a goodie.  I have stopped hearing from insurance companies since the original posting last year.  Blogging changes lives.

Here we go…..

“Again?” She spoke through her disgust.

“They had a dog.  Did not plan on the dog.  Can I come in?” He held a bleeding arm and tried not to drip on the carpet.

With a shrug, she welcomed him into her home.

“You can’t keep coming here when these go bad,” she scolded. Continue reading

The Continuing Dinner Party Calamities of Deck and Amy

“Shed no tears for the dead, for they have taken their final steps.  Weep not for their loss, for we learn from the absence.  Once we uncover their treasures, we will understand all they have left for us,” the man in a pith helmet said as he took yet another swing with his pick-ax.

“That’s well and good, but,” Amy started.

“We are on the cusp of greatness! This is our hour!” The pithy man shouted as the ax collided with its target.

“But that’s not,” Deck said, cringing as the ax hit.

“This map,” the adventurer said, waving a torn up bit of old parchment paper in the faces of Amy and Deck, “this map was written by the Freemasons and guides us to a treasure underneath this very spot!” The adventurer was shaking with excitement.

Ted, watching from the dinner table, sipped his wine and chimed in, “That’s National Treasure, right? We’re watching a Nic Cage classic unfold?” Continue reading