Not on the Activities List

The dinner table was set, food plated and the family looking forward to another meal together.  Forks clattered as they twirled spaghetti round and round and conversation began to swirl.

“Winter is coming up pretty quick.  We should start thinking about indoor activities to fill the day,” mother said to father.

“Do you have anything in mind?”

“Board games are always good.”

“Mom, we could try juggling knives,” chimed in the high pitched voice of the couple’s five year old son.

“Probably not, but good brainstorming, kiddo,” the father replied.

“I’ll go hide everything sharp,” the mother left the table.

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New Street Signs

 

“What the crap is this?” Jago asked.

“The pedicab sign?” Jo needed clarification.

Jago sighed.  He knew his old stomping grounds had changed, but the pedicab sign changed confirmed his fears.  “You remember growing up around here?  Signs were all about no skateboarding, no loitering, no this and no that.”

“Pedicab is progress then, right?” Jo pondered. Continue reading

The Fatal Flaw of Candle Shopping

“Ashes, Ashes we all Fall Harvest,” Lilly read the label of the candle in a Ball jar, “bit dark, but it smells nice.”

“Hey, come check this one out, ‘In the cold November Rain‘,” Ivan called over, “it smells like rain and wet top hat!”

“This place has some neat options; Cumin feel the noise,  Why is Cucumber on a salad(?!), Newspaper will soon be in a museum,  Remember when you were 12 and and playing soccer and slipped and sliced your leg open playing on Fresh Cut Grass, For some reason people like the smell of Licorice,” Lilly listed off the candles already in the shopping basket.

“Does cucumber actually have a smell?” Ivan asked.

“It smells like green water,” Lilly answered.

“I have no frame of reference for the analogy,” Ivan added ‘Only you can prevent Wild Fire’ to the basket.

“I don’t have a better answer.  We’ll light this on fire, it’ll smell good,” Lilly said.

“It’ll smell like whatever they want us to think cucumber smells like,” Ivan muttered.

 

 

 

Boom! The candle shopping experience! Nailed it.
Thanks for reading.

(Cucumber is a lie)

Getting Older (in 100 Words)

Baxter stared at the ceiling.  He pressed his right hand, balled into a fist, against his chest and took repeated deep breaths.

“You okay?” His roommate asked, hearing the sounds of obvious discomfort.

“You know what they need to talk more about in school?  Or at least before you’re 30?” Baxter questioned.

“What’s that?” the roommate asked.

“How one day you suddenly have to worry about sodium content and chicken flavored ramen will cause murderous heart burn,” Baxter lamented aging

“It comes on sudden, I’ll give you that,” the roommate tossed a recently purchased bottle of Tums to the bed. “enjoy!”

Making the Bed (in 100 words)

“This is it.  This is how I die.  What a fitting end.  Ha! Ugh, no one around to hear that one,” I say aloud.

“Are you stuck in the sheet?” my wife asks as she enters the room.

“These fitted sheets are out to destroy me,” I respond from within the confines of a fitted sheet.  The sheet won the battle before it even started. As I lay on the bed with my body inside the elastic deathtrap I seriously reconsider some life choices that have brought me to this point.

“Stand up. I’ll take care of it,” she says.

 

Right On Queue

“It’s moving quick enough.  You’ll be fine,” Lana tried to comfort her visibly uncomfortable husband, Fidel.

“I’ll be the judge of that, thank you,” Fidel shot back.

With every fiber of his being, from the hairs on his head to the hairs on his toe knuckles, he hated lines.

“I’m sorry, that was uncalled for and I did not mean to lash out at you.  The situation is out of my control and I am coping poorly,” Fidel said.  He said this often.

Lana slanted an eyebrow at him, tightened her lips and made a sound that unmistakably one of irritation. Continue reading