Spider and Monster Have a Chat

“So, reclusive ancient sea monster is your gig, eh?” Spider asked.

“Yeah, it’s pretty sweet. I eat boats on occasion. They think I live in the water! Nope. Basement of the golf club restaurant.” Monster answered.  “What do you do?”

“Oh, I pop up in showers, on walls; the usual jump scare stuff.  Mostly I just leave web absolutely everywhere. People hate touching this stuff.  You should see ’em when it touches their face! Hilarious,” Spider said.

“That’s amazing! But, that does leave a question. Where are you hanging from right now?” Monster asked.

“I stopped questioning that long ago.”


Pender Bear


“What did you do?” Jonah screamed as multiple blood vessels became very visible on his forehead.

“We call it a Pender Bear.  It’s a spider-penguin-grizzly combo.  Things last night got off. the. chain. Amazing.” Wanda informed the lab’s chief scientist.

“You two were meant to be creating a diet supplement pill.  How did this thing happen?” Jonah asked.  His tone was quieter, but the blood pressure still a problem.

Francis chimed in to help his lab partner, “well, it was a really late night in the lab.  I remember saying, ‘hold my drink’ and 10 hours later this guy was with us'”

Jonah contemplated the creature before him.  “Find a way for it to be related to dieting and you can keep it.”

“Not a problem, boss.  This thing…this thing encourages running,” Francis said.  He and Wanda glanced to the floor.

“It glows in the dark, some how.  Pender Bear is terrifying,” Wanda explained.

Jonah nodded his head, “innovative.  Good work.”


An Editing Intermission

Long ago I made and abandoned a blog called Cynical Paint.  Poorly drawn figures having some sort of existential crisis or dawning realization were the featured posts.  Drawn in MS Paint.  By me.  Totally awful, but very to write.

As I am working on the finishing touches of what I hope to the first of many People on the Highway anthologies, I thought it would be fun to return to the twitter friendly version of the concept.

I am editing the book right now and my eyes are crossing.  When I type the stories on Wednesday mornings I do not really pay attention to “word choice” or “punctuation” so cleaning my own mess is super annoying.

Anyway, here are some bad drawings with funny words.