Deck and Amy and the Charity Event

Charity events involving caterers walking around with trays of fancy cheeses and grilled vegetables on weird looking crackers were well outside Deck and Amy’s comfort zones.  An obligation to a friend from college, a need for a tax write off, and the promise of free drinks changed backed them into a corner; their attendance was mandatory.

One and a half hours into the evening’s golf and drinks event, Deck and Amy failed to notice the small crowd gathering around them.  They were far too busy to notice anything so trivial as on-lookers, lookie-loos, and rubber neckers.

“What do you mean there’s no fancy lights or smoking volcano when you finally sink the final putt?” Deck asked, flippant and over-dramatic.  From his cell phone, volume maxed, sounds of fireworks and celebratory trumpet fanfare rang out.

“What sort of a golf course is this?” Amy added.  Continue reading

Fourth Quarter Earnings Report

“Team!” Shouted the silhouetted figure walking a precisely lit stage.  A staff of over 4,000 employees of The Company and Co, LLC screamed with excitement and joy in response.

The stage lights changed and the company’s CEO stood center stage wearing a well made suit and a tie featuring bananas.  He raised his arms in a V and shouted once more, “team!”

Matching the tie, the crowd went bananas. Continue reading

The Experiment

img_7387

“On the plus side, we’re going the right direction!” The feigned optimism of Inspector Wainwright fooled no one.

Wainwright was proving to be a curious figure to the officers in his charge.  He appeared a heart beat after the first notice of an odd creature roaming the countryside was received.  The station door swung open, filled with a silhouetted figure in a long coat and a derby hat, and a grumbled voice demanded to be directed to the station lead.

The station lead was now looking over the fallen trunk of a hundred year old tree, a sign they had become familiar with.  “This tree is noticeably larger than the last,” Officer Redding, the station lead, noted.

“The creature grows,” Wainwright said, “just as it was meant to.  Good.” Continue reading

The Pepper – Book Excerpt

Another excerpt from my currently in progress book Insufferable.  I highly recommend reading this first excerpt or the ending joke makes no sense.  Happy Sunday night, everybody!

The Pepper

It was August 2003 when I met the woman who would be my wife.  The days were still long, temperatures warm and barbeques were frequent.  We met at school and started dating a just a few months into our college life, but before we dated we were awkwardly attracted to each other and unable to really express anything because at 18 years of age we were dumb.

So we spent time together.  A lot of time together.  One weekend she invited the whole college clique we had formed over to her parents’ house for a barbecue. Continue reading

Again With the Writing Lessons From Bad Movies

I really, really like bad movies.  Mindless fun (most of the time), cheap plots and such little commitment needed on the viewer’s part make for a unique experience that is at once wondrous and so very pointless.  It’s amazing and I’m very thankful to have the opportunity to spend some time just absolutely wasting my time.  I’m writing a book right now, really.  Just…sometimes Netflix is better than work.

Netflix had a doozy of a bad movie suggestion for our profile called “For Watching Bad Movies” (so the main account doesn’t constantly have terrible recommendations).  This installment of Writing Lessons from Bad Movies comes from none other the baddest of the bads:

Catwoman. Continue reading

Will Power and the Lack Thereof

This game I tell ya’….*shakes fist*

 

I am very happily writing away.  Stories are coming together and I am having soooo much fun writing this steampunk revolution tale, the Fletcher Family Problem and….other stuff.

But you know what happens sometimes when there’s lots to do?  A neat looking physics game comes to the app store and ALL IS LOST! Caps locks necessary.

I like to think I have some will power.  The ability to control myself and just let the unsolvable puzzle be.  But what’s the harm in one more round?

Go play ‘In the Circle’ and tell me how many times you say “just one more round”.  I got up to a score of 107 after “one more round” became a ten minute binge during lunch.  I was pretty pleased, but still hungry.

I reclaimed the day though and deleted the game.  For the second time…

Back to writing now.

“Buy you’re writing right now!” you say.

“Only to procrastinate!” I reply, shouting for some reason.

But, seriously, In the Circle is quite fun.  I don’t know if it has an Android version, but the iPhone one is going to ruin your productivity in the best possible way.