Wade at the End of the World

If a person could be defined by a sound, Wade could be defined as the rumble of an empty stomach.  People can’t be defined as sounds though, so they are left to be defined by their actions and words.  Wade was better defined as a hunter of prey that probably deserved a head start.

“Would you just stop so I can eat you!” Wade shouted at a very fast chicken. “Dinner for one, to go. Amirite?”

A laugh not his own sounded behind the rubble. At that moment, Wade was defined as the sound of screams on a roller coaster.

Team Building

via Pixabay

“Sir, how does this pertain to the business?” Jenkins asked.

“Jenkins, you’re a good employee.  This is a team building activity.” Johnson answered.  Johnson always had an answer at the ready.  This both impressed and exhausted Jenkins.

“I appreciate that, sir, but most companies opt for trust falls or volunteer work.  We are standing in a marsh with shovels and that ‘tour guide’ you hired is obviously reading a treasure map,” Jenkins hoped the comment was not heard as snarky.

“Astute observations, Jenkins. Well done.” Johnson began handing out hard hats.

“So we’re treasure hunting then?”

“Right you are, Jenkins!”

A Walk in the Woods

“Nancy. Nancy they saw us.”

“Keep calm, Bryan, they are just as scared of us as we are of them.”

“No. No we’re not. We will mess you up if get any closer.”

“The goat just spoke. Nancy. Nancy. The goat is talking.”

“My name is Robert, Bryan. Bleat it, or I’m calling the cops.”

“Bryan, stop laughing at Robert. Robert, sweetie, we are just going to back away.”

“He said, ‘bleat it!'”

“Bryan, stop laughing. Again, I’m so sorry about this, Robert.”

“It’s going to be a gruff day for you, Bryan.”

“Oh, come on, that was on purpose!”

Source

wheat-1318756_640“Legend has it that when the blue sun rises over the gold wheat, a terrible plague will be unleashed upon humanity,” explained Ted, trying sound scary.

Rick tossed down aside his now empty beer can, “did you hear this legend from Deputy Dan?”

“He’s been right before,” Ted justified.

“Deputy Dan cannot be your source anymore.  He was right about the Cubs because he says they’ll win it every year.  He was bound to be right eventually,” Rick said, popping open another can.

“So no plague then?” Ted asked.

“Oh that’ll happen, but due to mice,” Rick answered.

“Sounds right.”

The Stone

stones-167089_640“Why are you holding that rock so…creepily.”  Becky was unsure her brother was still sane.

For his part, Ryon was unsure of that as well.  “Becks. This river rock is magical.”

Becky said nothing.

“Watch.  Rock? Pizza.”  Ryon held the rock tight in one hand and a slice of gooey, pepperoni topped pizza appeared in the open palm of the other.

“What the heck?” Becky was paying attention now.

“Right?! I can’t explain it. Rock? Olive pizza.”  Ryon now held two slices.

“Have you only tried pizza?” Becky asked.

“Pizza is everything, Becky.” Ryon said, mid-bite.

“You’re very smart, bro.”

Trumpet

old-trumpet-1411142_640 Dust and rust fell from the trumpet like snow.

“It’s a beauty,” said Grandpa Frank.  “Go ahead and play it, Erik.”

Erik had no intention of following the request.  “Wow, no, I couldn’t play your old horn. I’m no good,” Erik tried to deflect.  He was terrified of what tetanus in the mouth would look like.

Grandpa urged again, egging on the grandson to give the horn a chance.  Erik reluctantly drew the horn upward.

Grandpa Frank slapped his head.  “You do everything people tell you? Don’t be silly. This thing needs to be melted down.”

Erik couldn’t agree more.

Helpful

winter-1142029_640
via Pixabay

“Mack, go help that guy.”

“He looks fine, Pearl.  There’s no need to get involved.”

“How is he fine?”

“Well, he’s not screaming in agony, is he?”

“That should be more alarming.  Look at all this ice.  Poor fella could have bonked his head.”

“Look around, no one else is concerned.”

“Mack. Go help him.”

“Pearl, I’m telling you, Farmer John is fine.  Pearl, don’t give me that look.”

“You haven’t seen a look yet. Go help that poor man before that annoying dog tries to eat his legs.”

“Fine,. I’ll go ‘ba’ at him for a moment.”

“Thank you.”