A Compass Unused

“Sure, sure, okay.  I understand your anger.  You’re upset with good reason.  The lake I promised is nowhere in sight.  You may have noticed the humidity is actually going down with each and every step,” Caleb told the rather cross group of hikers before him.

“I certainly did notice!” One particularly displeased hiker replied.

“Confession time for ol’ Caleb.  I have no idea what this compass means.  So we’re going to walk around until someone hears a wave crash or big ol’ bird go ‘ka-kaw’ and make a splash.  Solid plan?” Caleb asked.

The hikers seized the compass and map.

Quint’s Silent Steps

“My phone is still in there,”  Quint said, horrified.

Gwen stared, mimicking the new father’s face, “You. Did. Not.”

“I can save this.  In and out.” Quint was pretty sure of his ability to remain silent.

Gwen’s confidence in him was low, but that was attributable to lack of sleep and caffeine.  “You move like a ninja or you sleep on the couch. Understood?”

Quint nodded and opened the door.

~~~Literally 13 seconds later~~~

“That thing came out of nowhere!” Quint said, placing an ice pack on his knee.

“It’s the changing table, dear.” Gwen said.

The baby was wide awake.

Dreams of Trampolines

“Hey, neighbor! Cool new trampoline, huh? Kids are going to love that,” Gary said in the first interaction he had with his neighbor, hopefully named Paul because that’s the name Gary had set to his neighbor’s face and was way too late to change that now, in what must have been five months.

“Hey, Gary,” Paul replied, “this is for me.”  Gary noticed Paul’s glazed over eyes looking in the direction of the newly assembled trampoline.  “I plan on jumping to the moon. Getting far, far away from here.”

“Things, uh…things okay at work, Paul?” Gary asked.

“Not so much.”

 

 

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Sandwiches

“Who wants a turkey sandwich!” Dad shouted with enthusiasm, trying to make lunch an ‘event’ this time around.

“I do!” the children shouted back excitedly.

“Who wants mayo? Pickles? Lettuce? Mustard? Tomato?” Dad fired off options in rapid order.

“All of it! Yeah! Woohoo!” the oldest child screamed, cheering. The youngest echoed his brother’s call.

“You guys got it,” Dad said assembling the sandwiches.  “And they’re ready!” Dad put plates before the kids and lunch was on.

“Dad, I don’t want this,” the oldest said, looking over the plate.  The youngest followed.

“You’re both difficult, you know that?” Dad said.

Spider and Monster Have a Chat

“So, reclusive ancient sea monster is your gig, eh?” Spider asked.

“Yeah, it’s pretty sweet. I eat boats on occasion. They think I live in the water! Nope. Basement of the golf club restaurant.” Monster answered.  “What do you do?”

“Oh, I pop up in showers, on walls; the usual jump scare stuff.  Mostly I just leave web absolutely everywhere. People hate touching this stuff.  You should see ’em when it touches their face! Hilarious,” Spider said.

“That’s amazing! But, that does leave a question. Where are you hanging from right now?” Monster asked.

“I stopped questioning that long ago.”

 

Team Building

via Pixabay

“Sir, how does this pertain to the business?” Jenkins asked.

“Jenkins, you’re a good employee.  This is a team building activity.” Johnson answered.  Johnson always had an answer at the ready.  This both impressed and exhausted Jenkins.

“I appreciate that, sir, but most companies opt for trust falls or volunteer work.  We are standing in a marsh with shovels and that ‘tour guide’ you hired is obviously reading a treasure map,” Jenkins hoped the comment was not heard as snarky.

“Astute observations, Jenkins. Well done.” Johnson began handing out hard hats.

“So we’re treasure hunting then?”

“Right you are, Jenkins!”

Reflection

“He’s just so obnoxious,” Lawson said, from behind his hands.

“I understand, but you have to be the bigger person here. Set a good example,” Cady said. She stood in the doorway of the bedroom, where Lawson sat on the bed and continued refusing to leave.

“That thing he did at lunch? Ugh! It’s like he knows each and every button to press,” Lawon lamented.

“Yeah, he’s a nightmare. But he’s your five year old son. You can make him a better person,” Cady said, smiling.

“That argument again? It hasn’t been working so far,” Lawson said, leaving the room.