House Rules

In the entryway to Dublin House (not at all located in Dublin, but the owner likes the sound of the words together) a list of rules greets visitors and roommates alike.

The rules, the owner supposes, would be a good fit for any home, any B&B, or anywhere people gather to watch Netflix or sit on couches for extended periods of time.

This is that list of rules

  1. No shoes on the couch, no couch on the shoes.
  2. For goodness sake, do not play anything by any incarnation of Boj Jovi
  3. If you walk when Tom Hardy is talking, you get punched in the kneecap. It won’t hurt, but it’ll be weird.
  4. Finders keepers only applies to finding out some terrible truth. You keep that to yourself. Everything else goes in lost and found.
  5. Trapper keepers are cool only if they contain terrible truths.
  6. Five-second rule need not apply. Everything is trying to kill us anyway so eat that fallen Snickers bar.
  7. You know what politics are the correct ones here. Don’t be wrong in this house.
  8. Any score can be settled by a ‘Pullman’s speech in Independence Day’ competition judged by a third party.
  9. Who’s house? Run’s house.
  10. No one may speak ill of the beer/wine/spirit preferences of another.
  11. Please speak ill of the New England Patriots.
  12. You may fudge a maximum of three dice rolls per night.
  13. You may cry during 10 Things I Hate About You, but not How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Only one of these is a true 10 flick.
  14. The Super Mario Theme is always welcome.
  15. Winner buys the pizza.
  16. The pizza buys the beer.
  17. The beer buys a solid alibi.
  18. Once a quarter, Dublin House will hold a group roommate meeting to discuss events, budgets, plans, and possible risks to the house for the coming quarter. This will facilitate a productive discussion and improvements to Dublin House. This is far from a glamorous rule, but it is necessary. Can’t be fun and games all the time.
  19. This quarterly meeting should be full of terrible truths.


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