In the entryway to Dublin House (not at all located in Dublin, but the owner likes the sound of the words together) a list of rules greets visitors and roommates alike.
The rules, the owner supposes, would be a good fit for any home, any B&B, or anywhere people gather to watch Netflix or sit on couches for extended periods of time.
This is that list of rules
- No shoes on the couch, no couch on the shoes.
- For goodness sake, do not play anything by any incarnation of Boj Jovi
- If you walk when Tom Hardy is talking, you get punched in the kneecap. It won’t hurt, but it’ll be weird.
- Finders keepers only applies to finding out some terrible truth. You keep that to yourself. Everything else goes in lost and found.
- Trapper keepers are cool only if they contain terrible truths.
- Five-second rule need not apply. Everything is trying to kill us anyway so eat that fallen Snickers bar.
- You know what politics are the correct ones here. Don’t be wrong in this house.
- Any score can be settled by a ‘Pullman’s speech in Independence Day’ competition judged by a third party.
- Who’s house? Run’s house.
- No one may speak ill of the beer/wine/spirit preferences of another.
- Please speak ill of the New England Patriots.
- You may fudge a maximum of three dice rolls per night.
- You may cry during 10 Things I Hate About You, but not How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Only one of these is a true 10 flick.
- The Super Mario Theme is always welcome.
- Winner buys the pizza.
- The pizza buys the beer.
- The beer buys a solid alibi.
- Once a quarter, Dublin House will hold a group roommate meeting to discuss events, budgets, plans, and possible risks to the house for the coming quarter. This will facilitate a productive discussion and improvements to Dublin House. This is far from a glamorous rule, but it is necessary. Can’t be fun and games all the time.
- This quarterly meeting should be full of terrible truths.
Thanks for reading!