It was a Rough Drive

I had to drive through the center of a major metropolitan area this afternoon.  The entire drive I clinched my teeth and white-knuckle gripped the steering wheel while trying to keep tabs on if 2nd or 3rd gear was the best option.

It was a rough drive.  I feared it would be my last.

To pass the time, I enjoyed creating the likely epitaphs of those around me.

Via Giphy

Writing is a dark hobby that none should pursue.

Here’s the result:

Ford Taurus Driver: Attempted to humidify and de-humidify the same room.  Broke physics.

Ford F150 Driver: Picked the wrong side in the egg white debate.

Ford Fiesta Driver: Withered away during an unending Wikipedia dive.

Driver of Whatever Honda’s Tiny Sedan Model Is: Tailed a private eye.  Inception occurred.

Hyundai Elantra Driver: Went to a library, things got hairy.  Dragged away by Sasquatch.

FedEx Driver: Didn’t ask for help. The ceiling fan took him.

Minicooper Driver: Literally taken away by an eagle.  Francine Worthy saw the whole thing and said it was totally wicked, but totally gnarly at the same time.  True story.

Honda Element Driver: Put the batteries in wrong. Broke physics.

Nissan Versa Driver: Went through life without strife.  Death was absolutely terrible though. Real icky stuff.

The guy on his bike on the highway for some dumb reason: Visited the Moon saying “be back soon!” He was a liar.

Bus Driver: Went While Watching Welch Whales Wail.

Dodge Ram: Eating breakfast, last tweet was #Hashbrowns.




Thanks for reading!

Some entertainment options you may enjoy:

Cursed by Dice podcast

Lunch Hour Characters (bad art, humorously captioned)

Free books

$1 Books


Perhaps buy me a coffee?


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