How Was Your Weekend, Friend?

The scariest phrase Billy “Ranch” Trujillo had ever heard was uttered by a five year old.  The child sat on a plastic swing and moved back and forth, ever so slowly.  The playground was covered with sand and wood chips and a perpetual feeling of “this could be better.”  Billy’s son was the only other child present and to his knowledge, Billy was the only adult presence.

“How was your weekend, Friend?” the child asked.  A phrase beyond the little human’s years spoken in a tone that would have been quite overused had The Addams Family been a modern CW teen drama and not a delightfully campy 60s comedy.

The child held an unblinking gaze on Billy awaiting a response.

Billy responded with a sound reminiscent of a dog biting its own tail and in an attempt to escape the pain ran directly into a porcupine.  He would describe it as a ‘yelp’ later in life.

“Well, that’s peculiar, mister,” the child responded to sound that originated from the grown human betraying the promise of his t-shirt that read ‘No Fear.’  “See you later, mister.”

The child didn’t quite hop of the swing, but rather glided back to the surface and walked, little arms at its sides and walked at a gate like a show horse.

Another yelp arose, but Billy would never tell any one of this repeat occurrence.  He turned to his son and whistled an end to playground time.

“Kiddo, we have to go,” Billy shouted.  “There appears to be a demon about and I can’t have you learning to say creepy phrases until you’re older,” he mumbled.

 

Thanks for reading!
This inspired by toddler saying “I’m not a kid, father,” this evening and it was terribly scary.

 

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