Grandpa’s Advice

“You know what they say, kid.  When life gives you lemons, best hope you don’t have any papercuts.  Now, get back out there. You’ll be fine.”  Grandpa Henry offered some of his classic advice.

Woodbury, already experiencing one of the toughest days of his young life (a life he went through with the name of Woodbury, mind you), was utterly confused.  He left the kitchen table, the classic home of Grandpa’s advice sessions.  It was a right of passage for the family.  Following heartbreak, disappointment, tragedy or even trivial hardships like dropped ice cream cones, the Walker family listened to the sage advice of the clan’s patriarch.  Woodbury was a little concerned that the common phrase was so mangled though.

In his confused stupor, he walked the to family room to see his mother.

“Mom?” Woodbury said with an up inflection to let her know her time was about to be consumed.  “I’m a bit concerned about Grandpa’s mental state.”

“Oh, sweetie pie, I’m sure he’s fine.  What’s the matter though?” Wanda Parks-Walker asked her troubled son.

“Well, he and I were talking about the break-up and he absolutely slaughtered the ‘make lemonade’ saying.  I’m worried he’s losing his mind,” Woodbury explained.

Wanda set aside her magazine, dropped the ‘I’m a caring parent’ look, leaned forward from the couch she was resting comfortably on and spoke with an intensity and tone Woodbury had never heard.  “Your grandfather, your dad’s dad mind you, loves giving advice for one reason and one reason only; the ending proverbial phrase.  He destroys it. Remember how down I was after being laid off from the bank? He told me “if a job is worth doing, it is worth not doing too.” I was so confused I focused on what that crazy old man was saying for three days. Didn’t even think of the layoff, except for not being at work.  That’s his whole thing.  Mind games. He wants that power. Thrives on it.  He throws you into a tizzy and then chows down on caramel chunk ice cream and laughs to himself.”

At that very moment Grandpa Wilbur walked by the doorway, chuckling to himself between bites of a frozen dairy treat swimming in caramel chunk goodness.

Woodbury shook his head.  “I had no idea.”

Wanda whispered, “He’s a diabolical genius.  That mind isn’t going anywhere any time soon.”



Thanks for reading!


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