A Theory Proposed

The bed had never felt so comfortable.  Pillows were perfectly positioned, the blanket just right; a long, long day had come to an end.

“That was a long day,” Xavier said, “but, a very informative day.”

“Informative?” Tala asked as she tapped her cell phone screen a few more times before calling it a day.

“Today I learned why people chew with their mouths closed.” Xavier said.

“Is it for reasons other than being rude?” Tala asked.

“You know, I always that was the reason too.  Maybe to prevent food from just falling out.  I don’t know what I used to believe.  Now, I know the truth though.  Thousands of years ago a family of cave people were sitting around a fire chowing down on mammoth steak.  Parents both exhausted from a day of cave-people-ing or whatever and little Grog in minute 42 of a story about a flying sabertooth tiger who just loves the color green and knocking down trees.  That’s when cave-mom has a brilliant idea, nudges cave-dad with her elbow and gives that ‘follow me on this one’ look.” Xavier explained.

Tala’s cell phone was on the bed side table now.

“Cave-mom says to little Grog that he has to keep his mouth closed or the mammoth steak will attract evil spirits.  Grog listened.  Grog stopped talking.  Cave-mom and Cave-dad had a solid three minutes of relative quiet.  They told the rest of the cave-clan about the new trick and here we are a few thousand years later telling our kids to chew with their mouths closed in hope of getting a few minutes of quiet.” Xavier wrapped up his explanation.

“Do you think Grog continued to listen?” Tala asked.

“Oh goodness no.  Kids have been the same throughout history.  Grog was back to old habits the next night, but it worked once.  When something works once, we know this, we try it again and again and again in hope of repeated results.” Xavier answered.

“And this is why we chew with our mouths closed?”

“Just a minute or two of quiet.”

“That sounds accurate.” Tala said, accepting the theory.


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