“Friends, I have gathered you here so you can witness history,” Ross said. He stood at the head of a ten-top table, the largest in the most popular burrito place in town, and looked over the assembled friends.
Quinn shook his head. For being Ross’ right hand man for years, he had very little patience for Ross’ restaurant announcements. As Ross’ speech began in full, Quinn hoped it would not get too embarrassing.
“History,” Ross continued. One word in and Quinn lost hope things would end without embarrassment. “History is written by the victors. Today, I brought you all here to see a victory.”
Quinn looked around the restaurant hoping hidden cameras would pop up. Ross was speaking far too seriously for the words he was deciding to string together. As his eyes wandered the walls, he saw a flyer near the entrance that was likely to be the focus of the rest of the speech.
“Victory comes in many forms,” Ross said. He had slowly raised a glass of water to the air for a toast. “And tonight, victory will take the form of…”
“A giant burrito, Ross? Seriously?” Quinn interjected. “You brought us all here to watch you complete ‘Burr-Eat-O’ challenge?”
Quinn felt a little bad about stealing Ross’ thunder, but he was pretty hungry and Ross was making Shatner pauses all over the place. At that very moment a ten pound burrito arrived at the table.
“3 out of 5 who attempt this wind up failing in a rather graphic manner. I thought it’d be good for a laugh,” Ross explained.
Quinn contemplated the statement as plates of tacos arrived for the others at the table. “Well, in that case I’m all for it. Carry on!”
Thanks for reading!
Have you seen Lunch Hour Characters? Come check out some bad art and funny captions. There are worse ways to spend your time.