One, Two, uh, Two and a Quarter…

“You had better have your shoes on by the count of three! Get moving!”

The children paid no attention.

“Fine. Let the counting begin!  One.”

The countdown did not start as expected..  The exasperated father had bribed and begged for assistance, but the kids were busy with completely ignoring him.


One child looked up as if a sudden breeze had tickled his neck and he wanted to ensure it was not a spider crawling on him.  The other continued gnawing on a Hot Wheels car.  Neither moved toward their shoes.

Now the father worried.  He had never made it all the way to three before. 

Two and a quarter! Move now.” He felt he adjusted nicely.

The children adjusted not at all.

Oh crap, the father thought, this is not going in my favor.  They’re besting me.  I don’t want to take away their toys.  Their toys are awesome!

“Two and a half! You’re running out of time.”

No response.

Fiddle sticks.  I’m doomed.  The father feared his fear was visible.

“Boys move now,” a stern, but calming voice called out from behind the father.  The childrens’ mother entered the room and took command.  In a flash of movement the children stumbled to their feet and were ready to leave for the grocery store in the blink of an eye.

The father turned to the savior of the moment, “how did you do that? They moved so quickly.”

“Get to three once.  You’ll never have to again,” the mother smiled.

“Is that why the alphabet worm thing is gone?” The father asked.

“You better believe it,” the mother said, still grinning.

“I loved that thing.  If you typed in a curse word it would giggle,” the father said.

“It will be missed,” the mother replied sarcastically.

The father nodded and followed the children to the car.
Thanks for reading!



6 thoughts on “One, Two, uh, Two and a Quarter…

    • It’s pretty simple: if you make a threat, follow through on it. So the underlying advice there is, don’t make a threat you can’t follow through on.

      For example, if you travel all the way to Orlando to take your kids to Disney World, and one of them is acting up, don’t say, “If you don’t behave, you and I are staying in the hotel all day!” because on a subconscious level, the kid knows that won’t happen and it really is too big of a threat to fulfill. But if you say, “If you don’t behave, then when we go to the Magic Kingdom today you don’t get to go on the first three rides.” And follow through on it.

      The child will cry and complain, and you’ll feel like a heel. But outwardly you stay calm, and when the child has to sit out those three rides you explain in that calm voice that s/he needs to behave. Kids are so smart; they figure out pretty quick — if their parents reinforce it — that good behavior means good things happen and bad behavior means bad things happen.

      Liked by 1 person

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