“Who dares disturb my slumber?” The Old God of the Mountain’s voice boomed through the halls of its forgotten temple. Millennia had passed since its sleep began. The pantheon had fallen and its acolytes had fallen silent generations before. The Old God was unaware of any of this; it was only aware that it was now being disturbed by a human towing a goat by a leash.
“Oh, great nameless one, I disturb your rest to call upon your unparalleled power,” said the tiny human as it tugged the leash. The goat did not appear to care about commands.
The Old God was pleased humans still took to flattery above all else. It did not care one little bit about the human’s call, however.
“Why do you bring a goat with you?” The Old God asked.
“I offer this you as a sacrifice,” the human said.
The Old God shivered in horror, facial tentacles flailing about, “oh my, no,” it said.
“No?” The human queried. The goat bleated.
“I’m a vegetarian, mortal.”
“Oh,” the human said. “Oh golly. Um,” the human looked around for a quick solution. “Would you like the goat’s carrot?”
The Old God took its time to consider its answer. “I would very much like that, yes. Thank you.”