Hashtags of the Near Future

I’m going to spend 2017 really focused on the future (two and four years ahead specifically).  As part of this goal of looking ahead, pondering what the future holds one thing I am terribly excited for are the hash tag trends we’ll see.  We’ve seen #TheDress, #MakeAMovieLessThrillingByAddingATomato, #RememberL33t5p34k before, but future trends? Oh golly…

Hashtags of the Near Future:

#I’m Oddly Fine with the Alexa Uprising

#20 Years Of Emo  Yeah, yeeeeeaaaaah. Remember emo, early aughts kids? It’s going to be classic rock soon.  Feel old with me.  (I understand this is only marking the mainstream break of emo, as the genre has roots in post-hardcore scenes since the 80s and existed on the periphery of grunge

#What Is This?  -followed by pictures of USB drives.

#Remember When Quac was Free?

#My Self Driving Car keeps going to the Liquor Store without me

#I’m Pretty Sure I’m Trapped in this VR Headset.

#Total Recall Challenge Exclusive to our human inhabitants of Mars, they step outside the pressurized shelters on the Red Planet, remove their helmets and see who’s eyes can grow the biggest*

# The Dress  it returns, but ironically.  Irony will never go out of fashion.

#Replace A Family Member Originated on late night TV, this hashtag encourages participants to swap a family member out for a humanoid cybernetic replicant widely available in the early months of 2020.  Videos are, of course, uploaded to YouTube -which, like irony, will still be quite popular.  Videos detail non-replaced family member reactions to the reveal that Great Aunt Marge is a robot spewing fake news headlines read on Facebook.  Which, like YouTube and irony, will still be quite popular.

#My Favorite Color Was  (People recall their favorite colors from five years ago.  Sociologists examine the tag for years trying to figure out why this happened.

#Endangered Species Heroes Just a bunch of pictures of sloths with Photoshopped capes and masks added.  Sloths remain endangered.

#<script type=”COFFEE!”> Like the scurvy epidemic of the 18th century, people forget what one word means and the world suffers.  Instead of confusing Lemons and Limes, this time it is Java and Coffee.

#Yahoo Hacks Despite being long dead, the world is shocked to hear about another Yahoo hack.


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