Lynn Hears the News

Lynn stepped out of the grocery store with the usual items in plastic bags she always felt guilty about using.  Bread, milk, eggs, some fruit and a pack of gum.  It was a normal day.  The sun shined above, birds tweeted in the tall oaks that surrounded the store and other shoppers gave awkward smiles to each other as they passed.

She walked to her car, popped the trunk open and hoped her milk would not topple over if she turned right too hard.

Before she could make her way to the driver’s seat, the ground beneath her rumbled.  The source of the disturbance showed itself quickly as a convoy of camouflaged trucks rolled down the main road beside the store.  Sitting inside the trucks were soldiers in gas masks and elaborate protective gear.  Odd drill Lynn thought as she stepped into the driver’s seat.

Turning on the radio, the afternoon DJs were just ending a caller.

“Whoa there now, profanity kills the line,” said ‘Leadbelly’ Tom, co host of the Snark Before Dark Show.  He could be described as the ‘squirrel’ host; high energy, little focus.

“Yeah, sorry folks,” apologized ‘Big Belly’ John.  His soothing baritone voice made him the one to always issue apologies for vulgar callers.

“Still, for those heading north you apparently want to ready yourselves for the zombie apocalypse,’ Tom said.

“Which brings up an important topic, Tom.  How would you survive the Zombie hordes?”

Lynn stopped listening and returned her attention to the military convoy.  They were going north.  They were wearing some very odd gear.  She wondered if Snark Before Dark had just accidentally broken the biggest news story of the year.

She started her car and called her mom.

“Mom,” she said when the phone was answered, “get the kids ready for a trip, would you? I’ll be home in about ten minutes then we’re heading south.”

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