Illness update: I’ve named my cough Hilgert. I expect our relationship to last forever.
Lately my five year old has been watching Power Rangers Super Dino Charge. It is amazing. Could be that I’m just really excited we aren’t watching ’90s Power Rangers anymore. We used to. Lots. Here’s what happens when all creative energy is influenced by such…influences. Gah. I’m ready to not to be sick anymore.
Here’s Go Go Bad Guy from last October.
“It just bugs me sometimes, I don’t know,” First Pylon of the Invincible Mind, Roderick Stone said as he marched alongside his number two, Second Pylon of the Invincible Mind, Maynard Fox.
“I don’t see the problem. Some rank titles just get longer than others,” Maynard replied.
“Yeah, but the other guys don’t have to worry about rank titles. They’re just ‘the blue guy’ and ‘the red guy’, I think I heard a real first name last time one of their squads came in here,” Roderick said.
Maynard practiced a high kick as they continued their route.
“The titles would not bug me so much if we could skip them at dinner. But no, policy states that I have to thank Proud Servant of the Invincible Mind Betty Stout whenever I take an extra biscuit. It is just a weird policy,” Roderick continued.
“You ever think about where these policies come from?” Maynard say. He followed with a ‘hi-yah’ and punched the air.
“Right? Not once have I seen an OSHA flyer or been sent a review of the 401k package. You ever been to a break room without a poster about how to submit an anonymous ethics violation? I knew this gig was going to be different, but there are rules to follow, you know?” Roderick was full of questions.
“At least we get to work on our fightin’ skills in the break room,” Maynard’s southern drawl was thicker than usual.
“There are fighting dummies in literally every room of this place. Have you ever seen a building with so many people that know so many different types of martial arts? And why do those groups with red, blue, yellow, green, pink, white, and black bodysuits come in here and they are crazy good at karate and all they do is stop the immediate threat to them and then leave? Is that a real tactic? I mean, they beat us every single time and just flee the scene. I think they like toying with us,” Roderick was fairly certain his mind was exploding.
“You’re making good points, Rod,” Maynard said. He stopped kicking air for a moment.
“And why do we all wear the same color? The different colored uniforms they wear are a visual celebration of their individuality, their own personal style and story. Those uniforms let us know that this team raining fists and foot down on us function so well because their diversity makes them strong. We wear gray and spend our time punching stuff instead of building unit cohesion,” Roderick was depressing himself.
“Maynard,” Roderick started, “I mean, Second Pylon of the Invincible Mind Maynard Fox, is it possible we are the bad guys?”
“You hush right now, First Pylon of the Invincible Mind Roderick Stone, words like those summon the wrath of the Overlord Pylon,” Maynard shouted, placing his hand over Roderick’s mouth.
Roderick pushed the hand off his mouth, “does that fear not send warning signs?”
The compound’s alarms sounded and a shrill voice filled the hallway, “The Energy Squad is on base! Stop them Lessors! Stop them Nooooowwww!”
“Where else is the security detail called ‘lessors?'” Roderick questioned. “No where. After this fight, I’m putting in my notice.”
I think we’ve been watching too much Power Rangers with the kiddo.
Thanks for reading!