*On avoiding bedtime*
Daddy? I need a cookie.
No, bud. Good night.
Daddy? Where my water bottle?
You drank it all. Good night.
Need bandaid. Foot ouchie.
Oh that’s too bad, we’ll take a look in the morning. Good night.
Daddy! New bed has big spider.
It is too dark to see a spider, big guy. Go to sleep.
Daddy, my jammies dirty.
Much in the same way as the spider, it is too dark to verify any of that.
Daddy, diaper stinky!
Oh goodness. Good night, buddy.
Daddy! Need mommy kiss.
You’re dragging us both into this?