Where Are They Now? The College Edition

Ah, college.  Years spent studying, partying, studying some more, telling your parents you’re studying more, actually studying, writing midnight papers, wishing you had studied even more, finishing papers, forgetting which lab room your class was meeting in this week…well.  College.  Ever wondered what became of all those peers you met, but didn’t know well enough to actually become Facebook buddies?  Never fear! Your answers await…

That guy who never wore shoes in the lecture of 200 students – Really into capes now.

The hackey sack players – Still ‘poke’ each other on Facebook.

The kid who somehow kept a cat in the dorms – Makes amazing omelettes in their house overlooking a pristine bay. Paid for by running drugs, but they are super good at it.

The fraternity bro who flunked out after first semester – Has a very successful career in specialized upholstery repair and adopts older shelter dogs.  Still drinks Natty Lite though, so you can hold that against him.

That one roommate whose name you can’t remember – Probably a pro baseball player who goes by a nickname given to him by a manager just as confused as you were.

The insufferable roommate with the insufferable significant other – They both talk non-stop about their fantasy soccer league.

The TA obviously sleeping with the professor –  Wrote a three episode story arch for Supernatural then disappeared in a forest in northern Alberta.

The kid with so much anime, just too much anime – Drew parts of Frozen. Let it go.

The classmate who was always at office hours – Always in their boss’ office.  People never change.

The kid who always wore roller blades, even when the sidewalks were iced over – Now inspects your food.  Think about that for a moment.

The kid who changed majors second semester of junior year – Writes a terrible blog that really is not that funny.

The kid who made sure his Scarface poster was prominently displayed – Still hasn’t seen Scarface

The semester abroad kid – Has absolutely no idea what the GMO debate is about and is afraid to ask now.

The kid with the artsy movie collection – Says gif the wrong way.

The kid who insisted you join the intramural rugby league – Absolutely loves t.v. shows about cupcakes and has a strong opinion about Las Vegas getting a hockey team.

The kid in your history class who was in student government – Made a YouTube video showing people how to fold a fitted sheet.  They retired at 28 and are living off the video’s advertising revenue.  You’d still really dislike them.


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