Maturing the Band

“So, what do y’all think?” Tarren asked, breathlessly.  He held a mic-stand in hand, muted his guitar and waited for the reaction of his bandmates.

The wait was not long.

“And what do you call that song?” The bassist, Sarabethian, asked.

“Sew My Eyes Shut,” Tarren answered.

Sarabethian shook her head and motioned for the drummer to chime in.

“Can you tell me what the line, and I think this is what I heard so correct me if I’m wrong, the line ‘break my hand to spite my foot and now my mind is all aloof’ means?” Drummer, Chad Jr., asked.

“That’s about circus elephants.”

“What? How?” Sarabethian stood up, shouting, but quickly waved away her outburst.

“To me,” chimed in lead guitarist and back up vocalist, Everett C. Soup, “it just doesn’t feel in keeping with the band’s ethos.  I mean, our audience is not likely to pick up on the, the, uh, elephant reference.”

“You’ve never respected our audience, Everett!  They’re ready for more of my songs.  Alone All the Time, Grease Stained Shirts Will be my Legacy, Poor Life Choices, I Ate a Bird for Breakfast; these are all going to be huge hits with our audience.”

“Okay, like, Tarren, buddy, you need to chillax,” Drummer Chad Jr., tried to ease the tension in the room.

“Do you think we’re an ironic band? Like we’re singing about the alphabet and animal sounds for fun?” Everett asked.

“We have one chord progression to keep things simple.  At concerts we say ‘cow says’ and children reply with variations of ‘moo’.  Our biggest song is The Kangaroo Hop.  For goodness sake, The Wiggles called us ‘the ladybugs of kid music’ because we’re so gentle.  We’re not singing about poor life choices other than forgetting to brush your teeth,” Sarabethian felt her tone could have been construed as mean.  She was quite okay with that.

Terran’s voice turned mouse like, “maybe I could play one at an after party?”


Thanks for reading!


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