Roderick had set up what he thought to be the perfect date night; candle lit outdoor dining, gourmet Italian cuisine, full moon over head. Even the weather cooperated by not being too hot nor too cold. He did not remember the last time he and Caroline were out, kid free, phone free, work free. He was hopeful the night would be one remembered fondly years later.
Then the bread basket hit the table.
“That don’t impress me much,” Caroline said as the waiter stepped away.
“The bread doesn’t impress you?” Roderick asked.
“Not really. Remember Benny’s Bakery? Let’s go this weekend. I’m gonna getcha good…bread,” Caroline said, smiling.
“It’s a plan,” Roderick was excited to have weekend plans.
Caroline took a knife and reluctantly spread butter on some bread. “I’m going to take this knife home,” she said through a sly grin.
“What? Why? No stealing butter knives,” Roderick insisted.
“Why not? No one needs to know,” Caroline put the knife in her purse. She smiled wildly and looked at her partner, “Man! I feel like a woman!”
“What does that even mean?” Roderick was confounded.
“Oh, don’t be stupid,” Caroline said. Roderick locked eyes with her and her expression changed to regret. “You know I love you. I’m sorry,” she apologized.
“What has gotten into you this evening?” He asked.
“It’s a wonderful evening, just a party of two, under the moon. I just, I just feel so up! You know?” Caroline said.
“Well, I’m glad you’re having a good time,” Roderick was amused with her enthusiasm and began to look over the menu. He sat with a bemused smile on his face, glad the night was going so well. The restaurant buzzed with conversation as he and Caroline sat in silence reviewing their options. He found himself replaying their chat so far and his smile turned to a concerned dread.
“Sweety, have you been speaking to me in Shania Twain song references all night?” He asked.
Caroline faked outrage, “Honey, I am appalled at the accusation. I told you my days of communicating strictly through pop-country song titles for my own amusement are behind me.”
“It took me a minute, but I finally recognized that ‘I feel like a woman’ line. Please promise me some actual conversation, would you?” Roderick set his menu on the table.
Caroline leaned over the table, dodged a candle and grasped Roderick’s hands, “From this moment, and forever and for always, I love you dearly. But. I’m outta here.” She laughed and left the table.
“That’s a dagger to my achy breaky heart, Caroline,” Roderick said.
“Ah! See it’s fun!” Caroline sat back down.
The rest of the meal was centered around Garth Brooks jokes.