Dinner this evening featured pretzel dogs, country potatoes and discussion of adding a toddler mode to the Alexa software that runs the Amazon Echo. By far the most amusing observation of the discussion was human toddlers are an amazing, life changing experience whereas adding an toddler mode to an personal assistant program is one hilarious prank.
So what features would be included in a toddler mode for an Echo? Glad you asked.
Ask the machine to set a timer, it says no.
The machine will wake at 3:00am to ask you a question.
Before answering a given prompt, it will insist that you investigate a non-existent squirrel in the yard.
Every so often it will just erupt in animal sounds for no apparent reason.
You can ask it for the weather report, but you’re going to read Curious George first.
It will read a cookie recipe, but you better go take another look for that pesky squirrel.
You’re going to find the machine almost walking itself into the garbage disposal at some point.
Some answers will be given in complete and total nonsense words, but you’ll pretend to understand and be ‘so proud’ of the machine.
Ask the machine to tell you a joke, it will HAVE YOU CHECKED FOR THAT SQUIRREL???
Want to add something to the grocery list? Give the command six times.
Toddler mode could be incredibly fun or end technology as we know it. Kind of like an actual toddler.