Michael at Bat

Michael had no idea how this moment had come.

“Now batting, number 84, Michael Podd!”

The stadium roared at the announcement.

He was an accountant and not a very good one at that.

“Podd! Podd! Podd!”

The crowd chanted.

He had never even held a baseball bat.  He rode a canoe once in 9th grade, but that as athletic as he had ever been.

A young man with a Gatorade bottle grabbed his hand and lead him to home plate.

“You can do this sir.  You’re my hero,” the young man said before running back to the dug out.

You can do this he thought to himself.  He gripped the bat and tried desperately to spit on the ground, as he had seen so many times before in movies about baseball.  He had never actually seen a baseball game before.

‘Podd! Podd! Podd!”

The crowd grew louder.  He watch “the wave” circle around the cheap seats.

The pitcher threw the ball it landed in the catcher’s mitt with a soft thud.

The umpire stood up and yelled, “Baaaaaalll one!”

“I don’t know what that means,” Michael told the umpire.

“That means, Michael,” the umpire replied, “that your medication has not worn off yet!”

The umpire removed his mask.  Michael saw the familiar face of his older brother.  Then the catcher stood up, removed his mask and turned out to be his younger brother.

“You had your wisdom teeth removed.  Remember that?” the catcher asked.

“I don’t remember my birthday,” Michael said.

The score board started flashed “Prank’d” repeatedly.

“This seems like a lot of effort to take part in that whole too much anthesthia prank video trend don’t you think?” Michael asked.  He thought he asked that anyway, the cotton on his back molars was pretty thick.

“We got you good, bro!” The other brothers high fived.  “But we should really get you home now.  This is not the place for someone in your condition”


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