How to Have a Conversation with Your Fellow Parent in the Presence of Children

Step 1: Introduce the idea of conversing with your parenting partner as so

Parent: “Parenting partner, I have some information to share with you!  Due to our mutual love of the topic, I think it will add to our bond.”

Step 2: Allow for the child to interrupt with their own addition to the conversation.

Child: “Parenting figures! I have a tangential, but slightly similar thought on the one or two key words I heard you say just moments ago!”

Step 3: Acknowledge the child’s addition

Parent: “Yes, that is on the perimeter of our subject, but I would appreciate discussing the actual topic with your other parenting figure as adults.”

Step 4: Listen to the child add on one more topic

Child: “Okay, sure, but now let me introduce a topic that has no relevance but you’ll want to address right away!”

Step 5: Try not addressing the new topic right away, fail.

Parent: “No, Han shot first and that is that.  Now, I will discuss the original topic with your other parenting figure.

Step 6: Continue from the topic introduction in Step One

Parent: “As I was saying, there’s a new piece of information on a shared interest that will be quite interesting to you,”

Step 7: Pause, the child will introduce a statement most bizarre at this juncture

Child: “I am saying a combination of words that will both amuse and befuddle you!”

Step 8: Request the child find another activity for the moment

Parent:”Buckaroo, why don’t you find a nice book or other activity for the moment?”

Step 9: Repeat your intention to speak on a certain topic, but pause after the first four words.

Parent: “Parenting partner, I have…”

Step 10: Wait for another loud interjection into your statement.  This may come as another topic from the child, a loud trumpet blare, a sudden crashing sound, monkey knife fight, Toyota Prius wheels ever so slightly accelerating down the driveway, one word repeated over and over again or any one of a literal infinite number of possibilities the child has at their disposal to again take charge of the conversation.

Step 11: Say the initial four words once more.  Wait again.

Step 12: If no noise has interrupted you, check on the health and safety of your child.  They are either damaged or causing damage.

Step 13: Following the check, finish your topic introduction statement once more.  Include the first four words again.

Parent: “Parenting partner, I have some information to share with you!  Due to our mutual love of the topic, I think it will add to our bond.”

Step 14: Wait for the parenting partner to respond

Parenting Partner: “Do please tell me more of this subject as it both interests me and I want to share in your excitement for the news!”

Step 15: Share the news! The conversation is now yours until the child decides to add to it once again.  Repeat steps as needed.



Thanks for reading!


Comments welcome!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.