This time around let’s correct some motivational parenting sayings:
My alarm clock smiles and screams to wake me up and I often have to clean feces off it.
Training the mind without training the heart is no way to raise a child. Unless you want to raise an economist. Then go right ahead and skip teaching empathy.
Your child will follow your example…of sighing heavily whenever something falls to the ground.
Your children will become who you are when you’re hungry.
I am not your friend, I am your parent. I’ll be friendly after coffee.
The amazing thing about being a parent is that you will never again wonder if you can catch another human being’s vomit in your cupped hands before it carpeted floor of your new neighbors home. You can. You will. You will never forget it.
There is no job more important than parenting. Unless your job is making ice cream.
They will follow your example, not your advice. So file your taxes without whining about it.
Tell children the truth; they are so, so loud.
My toddler is entering week four of this latest round of teething and Daylight Savings is a terrible, terrible thing.