Hamlin Had a Date

“Well, how’d the date go?” Warner was happy he waited to ask until being seated for breakfast.  He had fought the urge to text, call, message, chat and tweet for information.  It had been an evening of nightmares for him, but a nice return to the dating scene for his friend.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Hamlin replied.  He pleaded with the waiter to bring the biggest pot of coffee available.

“No! I don’t like that.  Your foodie dating app was supposed to be so amazing at matches,” Warner said.

“I will no longer be using Lettuce Get Lunch,” Hamlin said as he grabbed a piece of toast from a stacked plate.  He did not question the origin of the bread, he simply consumed.

“Why not? It seemed like such a good fit,” Warner needed details more than he needed burnt bread.

“We went to a grocery store and wandered aisles for a good ten minutes, just putting food in a basket.  We talked about our favorite meals and restaurants.  I strongly hinted we were just a few blocks from my favorite place, but those were some deaf ears,” Hamlin said before devouring another bit of butter covered bread.

“That’s unique at least, what went so wrong?” Warner started pouring the just arrived coffee.

“So she puts a milk carton in the basket and turns to me and says, ‘did I tell you about the diet I’m on?’  I say, ‘nope.  Tell me about your diet.’ Then she grabs my arm and runs me out of the store without paying for anything!” Hamlin shouted.

Warner found himself in a state of stunned silence.

Hamlin continued the tale, “we run for blocks before finally stopping.  When we do, she turns to me and says, ‘I only eat what I steal.  It’s called the Poached Eggs diet.'”

 

 

That was a really long way to go for a bad pun.  Thanks for reading!