Tours By Appointment Only

“Before we get on with your first day! Exciting! Do you have any questions right off the bat?” Phyllis the HR Rep asked.

Always inquisitive Aaron did have a question.  “I saw on the sign out front that tours are by appointment only.  At my last place we just did tours when people showed up.  Just curious why the appointment is necessary here.”

Phyllis the HR Rep smiled, “you will have your answer through the orientation tour!” She giddily clapped her hands and started the tour.

The complex looked like Aaron’s previous site.  There is really only so much that can be done to make these centers have character.  The classic struggle between efficiency of space and being visually pleasing always went to efficiency of space in this sort of place.

“Here we have our registration desk.  Residents come here for help with the day-to-day stuff.  Visitors check in here and have their bags checked; the standard stuff really,” Phyllis the HR Rep said of the reception area.

“Is this where I’ll be stationed?” Aaron asked.

“Not quite yet,” Phyllis the HR Rep said.  She waved him to the next area of the tour.

A long, pea green hallway followed.  Resident room doors passed by in even intervals.

“This hallway takes you to our on site pool and gym.  A big hit with a certain population here,” Phyllis the HR Rep said pointing down a darkened hallway.

“Is the light meant to be off?” Aaron asked.

“It is a very specific crowd that enjoys that gym,” Phyllis the HR Rep replied.  Aaron was not sure if that an actual answer.

They walked by a cafeteria, an arts and crafts room, a study, a library, a ballroom; the facility was well equipped to be a place that one was happy to call home.

“And now,” Phyllis the HR rep said as they walked to a pair of heavy metallic doors, “the crown jewel of the entire complex and the place you will be stationed.  Are you ready, Aaron? This is the stuff dreams are made of!”

She pressed a button on her keys and the doors swung open.  A rush of air exited the room and ruffled Aaron’s hair.  His jaw dropped when he saw what sat at the core of the building.

“What is that thing?” He asked in both awe and befuddlement.

“That’s the reason we need appointments before tour groups come through.  That’s our earthquake machine!”  Phyllis the HR Rep clapped her hands once more in excitement.

“Why is there an earthquake machine in the center of this retirement home?” Aaron tried to recall exactly what was on the job advertisement he saw online.

“Well, Happy Oaks Retirement Grounds is mostly a home to retired members of the Society of Sinister Citizens.  And you know what they say, once an member of an organization bent on world domination always a member of an organization bent on world domination!” Phyllis the HR Rep was a little too pleased with the phrase.  “This is really a nice way for them to spend their day.  Makes ’em feel useful to the council’s will.”

“So my job is to cover this up?” Aaron asked.

“You’re background really lends itself to this; you’ll do great,” Phyllis the HR Rep said.

“Cool.  Let’s talk lunch hours next,” Aaron was always a team player.

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